Day 39

First things first: The holiday party was a lot of fun! I talked to a lot of people, some that I knew and some that I didn't. I was nervous at first because I have a lot of anxiety in new social situations, but everyone was really nice and easy to talk to. A couple people I'd never spoken to before that night came up to me and said I look like I've lost a lot of weight. Since I'm still hanging out in that blasted three-pound range of death, it was very good to hear that I am shrinking even if the scale is messing with me. And (THE MOST EXCITING PART): my guacamole won 3rd place in the food competition and I won a $25 gift card to spend at the studio! I'm going to put it towards a private lesson, which will be my reward for completing this challenge. I can't stop smiling every time I think about it. It was a fantastic night.

Today's class was greeeeaaaaat! I felt like I slayed a lot of mental demons in this class. The room was undeniably hot today. I felt overwhelmed more often than once but my mind was firmly set on each posture. It really is possible to beat the heat if you keep your brain in the room and on the posture. Anytime you think about the heat, it gets worse. The trick is to keep your brain far away from thoughts like, "It's so hot in here" and tell yourself, "Man, I could use a sweater" and then dismiss it all from your head. It sounds so stupid but it's really working for me.

In balancing stick, it's a lot better for me to keep my hips even as I go down and not lift my leg as high than to have one hip popped and have my leg up parallel to the floor. Add that to the list of stuff I knew mentally but couldn't translate to my body. "Form before depth" rears its beautiful head again!

I guess the universe must have heard my frustrated raging about how much I hate triangle, because I had one very good one today. It was actually kind of rewarding, because after falling flat on my ass and basically all-around failing at the first side, I pulled myself together and tried again and was rewarded with how I think triangle is supposed to feel every time. Muscles all over my body were screaming at me, especially in my midsection and arms. I felt like my hips and my chest were two separate entities, moving in two opposite directions. I am excited that I had this breakthrough and am happy that triangle will eventually feel like that, instead of like I'm a floppy wet noodle.

In toe stand, I got my fingers to the floor and bent my knee but when I got to the ground, I pitched forward. I'm pretty sure I'm putting my hands too far in front of me, so it's a huge shift when I try and move my hands to my sides. Tree pose and toe stand are both really tough because apparently, my hips want to be open on every posture EXCEPT these two.

Okay, let's get real: my ass is SOOOOOORE from the spine-strengthening series. I have to squeeze my glutes so hard to get my heels and toes to touch while working on my spine. The best part about that is that tightening my legs and hips takes all of my effort and concentration and my spine doesn't really hold much tension. Hooray!

I had my best bow pose yet today! I was able to really relax my shoulders which allowed my legs to kick up higher. I felt spinal compression and realized my legs were out to the side so I squeezed the crap out of my glutes and I felt all kinds of not-entirely-unpleasant-but-still-pretty-unpleasant feelings in my body. It's pain, but not the pain of injury. I've come to realize that it's the pain of new muscles being born, of old muscles growing, and of creaky bones and joints regaining their natural flexibility.

All in all, it was a great class with a few key breakthroughs. I'm very happy with how things are progressing. Jason and I are going to the ten o'clock class tomorrow and then we're going to kick a soccer ball around with some friends in the afternoon. It's been so long since I played soccer and I'm in MUCH better shape than I ever was when I was playing. I'm excited to be faster and more in control of my body. I can't wait!