Restructuring yet again

Today was kind of a scary day for me. While outside in the garage working on the cars, my dad dislocated his hip. He'd had his hip replaced back in my senior year of college (5 years ago now... seriously? I'm getting old!) and he just got up wrong and popped the replacement hip out of joint.

Thankfully, it wasn't very serious. There were no fractures and they just needed to pop it back in place (easier said than done, of course). The bad part is that a dislocated hip is pretty damn painful. My dad is super tough. He is NOT a complainer and always downplays any pain he's in, but he definitely had some choice words anytime the ambulance people/hospital workers/etc. had to move his hip in the slightest. As a kid, it's pretty scary to see your parent in pain.

He was really lucky in that once the hip was back in its socket, he felt just fine and was able to go home. He didn't need any surgery and didn't have any broken bones, so I am counting my blessings. He even felt well enough to cook dinner for my mom when we got home - see what I mean about my dad being tough?

Anyways, how does this relate to yoga? Well, I had to miss class again today because our planned class came and went while we were at the hospital. I was going to try and go to the last class of the day, the 7:30, but my mom didn't get back in time for me to take her car. So, what this means is that my double count is up to four. FOUR.

I can only conclude that the universe really wants me to work for this challenge. Now, the plan has shifted (yet again) to doubles on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Considering I'm also extremely behind on my day-job work, I'm a little stressed about the state of work I need to do next week, but nothing like starting 2011 off with a bang. I know I can do it, but I'd be lying if I said I don't think I'm going to cry from exhaustion/relief/bliss after the 60th class.

Let's just hope the universe doesn't have any more doubles planned for me. Four in a week is enough, in my opinion.

Day ?: Sweating the sickies out

Whewwwww. Class today was actually way better than I thought it would be ("have no expectations" springs to mind). I was able to do all of the standing series and only had to sit out one set of head to knee with stretching due to some nausea which I assume was due to stomach compression on my still slightly wonky belly.

I was able to touch my head to the floor again in standing separate leg stretching pose, and this time I didn't even somersault out of it! I moved my legs closer together in the second set, so I didn't touch there, but I worked for it. I love progress like this, it's just so motivating.

One thing I did notice that was really, um, kind of gross... my sweat smelled AWFUL. I assume this is because I've been so sick over the past few days and my body needed to expel a lot of nasty toxins. But, seriously, I felt kind of bad for the people around me because the smell was so foul. It even made me a little nauseous during the spine strengthening series when my face was down towards the mat a lot. I'm definitely glad those toxins are no longer in my body. I feel much better and am looking forward to tomorrow's class!

I really feel good now that I've re-focused and re-dedicated myself to this challenge. I forgot to mention that I was lucky enough to be given several gift certificates for my yoga studio so not only do I have enough money for a private lesson, but I also could buy some new yoga clothes or some electrolyte drink powder or any number of things. I could also do a second private lesson, or use it towards a free month of class. I have lots of options, but one thing is certain: I'll be taking at least one private lesson after my challenge is over! I'm going to start compiling a list (which I will, of course, share with you) of things I have questions on/want to work on/etc. that will help me best utilize my lesson.

Things are looking way up. We are sent challenges so we can rise to the occasion. Onward!

Day Whatever: Holidays, Canceled Class, Stomach Bug, and a Double Date

Whew, it's been a while since I posted. Sorry! You had to expect some kind of distruption - after all, it is the holiday season. ;)

First things first: I finished my whirlwind 3 classes in 20ish hours and it wasn't pretty. I didn't hydrate properly or eat nearly enough before my last class pre-flight to Massachusetts, so that class was predictably tough. I couldn't do anything but lay in savasana and breathe. It was a huge struggle to not fly out the door and run away, but I managed to stick it out and stay in the room despite my dehydration-induced claustrophobia. Sometimes, just staying in the room is a victory!

So, Christmas Eve morning, my mom and I got up early and went out to her yoga studio. Upon pulling into the parking lot, we were informed the class had been canceled due to the holiday. This was news to us, since the holiday schedule on the website didn't quite agree with this sentiment. There are few things more annoying than actually being dedicated enough to get to class, only to find it not happening. Our moods were grumpy for a bit, before I reminded us both to "let no one steal your peace." At this point, doubles needed to finish my 60-day challenge on time: 1.

On Christmas morning, yet again my mother and I rose early to get to class. This one (thankfully still on) was great! It was nice to get into the room again after a day break, which I think my body actually needed. This class felt really cool to me, perhaps because I was right in front of a big fan that kept cooling my sweat the second it popped out my pores. Despite the perceived lack of heat, it was exciting to see my mom's improvement. When we went back in October for the first time, she couldn't even lay in savasana. This time, she was even able to do the sit-ups! She totally slays the standing series, which is the hardest part of class for me. It's funny that her strong points are my weaknesses and vice versa. It allows for cross-inspiration. :)

The day after Christmas was an equally good class. Jason joined us and it was really neat to have both my mom and Jason in class with me. This class felt back to its normal level of heat, which might have been due to my positioning away from the aforementioned big fan. My mom and I both had firsts in this class, too! She grabbed both feet in camel for the first time ever and I touched my head to the ground in standing separate leg stretching pose (without having my legs so far apart it was nearly a split)! Now, after I touched my head to the floor, I rolled my weight so far forward that I did a little somersault out of the posture but I was so excited to have a breakthrough right alongside my mom! So cool. I kind of wish I had video of my gymnastic move cause I bet it looked pretty hilarious.

And here's where it gets hairy.

There was a massive snowstorm Sunday into Monday. It was one of the top 10 storms New England has ever had, and that's saying something. We were expecting our flight to be canceled, since almost every flight out of Logan was. If the flight was canceled, we were all going to go to the 5:30 yoga class together and hopefully head out on Tuesday. However, the universe had a wrench to throw in my plans! I woke up Monday morning around 6 or 8 (it's hazy) to some god-awful stomach cramps. I thought maybe it was just poor holiday eating coming back to get its revenge on me, but I quickly learned that it was more than a food baby. After praying to the porcelain god for a couple hours, it became apparent that I couldn't travel that day. Ironically, our flight was just about the only one not canceled that day, but I couldn't get out of bed, let alone board the airplane. Jason, who had to work this week, was feeling healthy and decided to head back to Texas without his poor, suffering girlfriend (haha). The earliest flight I could get out of Boston? Friday. Guh. I was out of commission, travel-wise and yoga-wise. Doubles needed: 2.

Tuesday was much the same. I wasn't throwing up anymore, but my stomach was still feeling terrible and I wasn't able to eat a bite. I was sustaining myself on small sips of Gatorade and basically just slept all day and tried to find positions that didn't kill my aching joints. No yoga for me. Doubles needed: 3.

So, today I'm feeling relatively back to normal. I was able to keep some food down, and I've been drinking some much-needed water. I'm planning on getting back to the hot room later, for the 5:30 class. My mom is going to come with me, too! Yayyyy.

The plan for the rest of the week is as follows: I will do singles today through Monday. I will do a double Tuesday, single Wednesday, double Thursday, single Friday, and double Saturday to finish out my challenge. Nita, a teacher at my studio who I've become friends with, is going to join me on my final day! Nita is so inspirational! She has a beautiful practice and a stunningly positive attitude and it will be very nice to have her spirit helping me through the last day of my challenge. She's teaching the 10 am, which I'll take, and then we're going to go to Spiral Diner for some healthy and delicious vegan lunch, and we'll take a class together to finish out my last class of the challenge! It will be such a nice end to what is sure to be a mentally and physically taxing week.

I'm really kind of happy with the way everything is turning out. I think the universe did this whole thing on purpose to force me into a bunch of doubles I would definitely not have done otherwise. When I got sick, I became a bit depressed that I wasn't going to be able to finish my challenge, but I realized that if I didn't finish my challenge, it would be my choice to leave it undone. I can choose to finish it, regardless of any obstacles in my way. Will it be hard? Yes. Can I do it? Yes. Will I do it? YES.

Days 41-44

First things first: I missed class on Sunday. The soccer workout wound up being way harder on my body than anticipated. I crashed out on the couch Saturday, barely able to muster the energy to move. On Sunday, I had a whole slew of work to get finished before a holiday party we were attending, and I just ran out of time. This was totally cool with me because I knew I could make it up with a double, which I had been wanting to do anyway but hadn't found the self-motivation to do so randomly yet.

After the day off, I had a couple tough classes. Not tough in a bad way, though! They were very challenging, partly due to the instructor who is very motivating and always pushes everyone to do their absolute best and not slack off a whit. I always find myself really pushing to my ultimate limits in his classes, partially because I don't want to get called out for slacking, but also because I want to show him that I'm not a slacker, that I'm really pushing as hard as I can. In the second class, I got really dizzy in the standing series, which I think was due to improper electrolyte intake. I felt a little... stagnant, I suppose, after that second class, which brings me to the theme of this blog post:

If you are feeling uninspired, you must actively seek out inspiration. You can't just sit back and wait for inspiration to slap you in the face, you need to go searching for it. For me, this has most often taken then form of books. Autobiography of a Yogi has been a wealth of inspiration for me, especially with the spiritual side of the practice, which I really haven't gotten much into here since I'm still working it all out in my head. I also recently purchased a book on yoga anatomy that has been seriously valuable to my practice. The first chapter is all about the dynamics of breathing and it has given me such a great understanding of the physical process of taking in and expelling air. It's so much easier to control your body when you know how it works.

The new understanding of how breathing works totally pushed my practice today! I found it easier to contract my stomach muscles for chest breathing and easier to let go of tension for belly breathing. I was hyper aware of my breath in all the postures, which allowed me to go so much deeper than I normally go in several postures (namely: half moon, standing bow, the entire spine strengthening series). I used my blah feeling after yesterday's class to motivate me to crack the book open, which brought me to a great class this afternoon. Every time I have sought inspiration, I've had a breakthrough class shortly thereafter.

So, I'm going back to the studio this evening to complete the second part of my double so I'm all caught up pre-vacation. We'll be in Boston from tomorrow through Monday and I plan on practicing every day up there. If I miss a day, it's cool, cause I know I can double my way through it when I get back.

I love yoga. My life is so improved as a result of my practice and I give thanks every day for being led to find it.

Day 40

Ahhhh, damn you heat! Today's class was hot and stuffy, with the overhead fans firmly turned off the entire time. I was in kind of a crappy mood before class and I allowed the heat and my mood to get into my brain. I got emotional right around standing separate leg head to knee and I had a little cry. After that, I felt well enough to continue. Sometimes, this yoga shakes things loose that you didn't even know you were hanging onto. After shedding my four tears, I was able to capture control of my breath and re-focus on the class.

I'm starting to see progress on the last part of locust pose. Sometimes, the stars and my hips align and I can push my weight forward to my shoulders and lift my legs more than an inch off the ground. Today, I really felt my legs lifting and my arms were tingling when I released. It felt great. (And hot.)

Bow pose continues to improve and this is the one posture that I really think I'm nailing right now. For me, it's all about hips and shoulders. If I can align my hips and relax my shoulders, I'm golden. I'm continuing to work on tightening my glutes and keeping my legs/knees/feet six inches apart. I'm getting a little closer every day.

I'm sorry to cut it short, but I've got to get ready to go kick around a soccer ball! I'm glad I went to yoga beforehand because I'll be stretched out and ready to go a lot faster than if I were going in cold. Life is good!

Day 39

First things first: The holiday party was a lot of fun! I talked to a lot of people, some that I knew and some that I didn't. I was nervous at first because I have a lot of anxiety in new social situations, but everyone was really nice and easy to talk to. A couple people I'd never spoken to before that night came up to me and said I look like I've lost a lot of weight. Since I'm still hanging out in that blasted three-pound range of death, it was very good to hear that I am shrinking even if the scale is messing with me. And (THE MOST EXCITING PART): my guacamole won 3rd place in the food competition and I won a $25 gift card to spend at the studio! I'm going to put it towards a private lesson, which will be my reward for completing this challenge. I can't stop smiling every time I think about it. It was a fantastic night.

Today's class was greeeeaaaaat! I felt like I slayed a lot of mental demons in this class. The room was undeniably hot today. I felt overwhelmed more often than once but my mind was firmly set on each posture. It really is possible to beat the heat if you keep your brain in the room and on the posture. Anytime you think about the heat, it gets worse. The trick is to keep your brain far away from thoughts like, "It's so hot in here" and tell yourself, "Man, I could use a sweater" and then dismiss it all from your head. It sounds so stupid but it's really working for me.

In balancing stick, it's a lot better for me to keep my hips even as I go down and not lift my leg as high than to have one hip popped and have my leg up parallel to the floor. Add that to the list of stuff I knew mentally but couldn't translate to my body. "Form before depth" rears its beautiful head again!

I guess the universe must have heard my frustrated raging about how much I hate triangle, because I had one very good one today. It was actually kind of rewarding, because after falling flat on my ass and basically all-around failing at the first side, I pulled myself together and tried again and was rewarded with how I think triangle is supposed to feel every time. Muscles all over my body were screaming at me, especially in my midsection and arms. I felt like my hips and my chest were two separate entities, moving in two opposite directions. I am excited that I had this breakthrough and am happy that triangle will eventually feel like that, instead of like I'm a floppy wet noodle.

In toe stand, I got my fingers to the floor and bent my knee but when I got to the ground, I pitched forward. I'm pretty sure I'm putting my hands too far in front of me, so it's a huge shift when I try and move my hands to my sides. Tree pose and toe stand are both really tough because apparently, my hips want to be open on every posture EXCEPT these two.

Okay, let's get real: my ass is SOOOOOORE from the spine-strengthening series. I have to squeeze my glutes so hard to get my heels and toes to touch while working on my spine. The best part about that is that tightening my legs and hips takes all of my effort and concentration and my spine doesn't really hold much tension. Hooray!

I had my best bow pose yet today! I was able to really relax my shoulders which allowed my legs to kick up higher. I felt spinal compression and realized my legs were out to the side so I squeezed the crap out of my glutes and I felt all kinds of not-entirely-unpleasant-but-still-pretty-unpleasant feelings in my body. It's pain, but not the pain of injury. I've come to realize that it's the pain of new muscles being born, of old muscles growing, and of creaky bones and joints regaining their natural flexibility.

All in all, it was a great class with a few key breakthroughs. I'm very happy with how things are progressing. Jason and I are going to the ten o'clock class tomorrow and then we're going to kick a soccer ball around with some friends in the afternoon. It's been so long since I played soccer and I'm in MUCH better shape than I ever was when I was playing. I'm excited to be faster and more in control of my body. I can't wait!

Day 38

I had a good class again, thankfully! I haven't taken a noon class in a while and I'm always so happy when I leave and have the whole day open ahead of me. Tonight is the BYD holiday party and I'm about to make some guacamole and bean and vegan cheese casserole for the festivities. It'll be fun to see everyone in normal clothes and not covered in a liter of sweat.

I really enjoyed the instructor that taught today. She is constantly reminding us to lift our chests, which helps me in so many postures. I love classes with a lot of corrections and today was one of those. The standing series was pretty hard for me again around triangle (grumble, grumble) but I did the best I could and tried to put it behind me. I still really hate triangle with every fiber of my being. I know that this just means I need it really badly, but damn. I wish it would click for me already. Patience, patience...

I had my hips perfectly aligned in wind-removing pose, which allowed me to really feel the pinch in my hip. I got a cramp in my right hip joint on the first set which was actually kind of cool. It was really nice to be able to relax into the posture and find my peace within it. I just can't do that if I'm freaking out about my hips.

The best part of class, far and away, was camel. The instructor said we had a little extra time and that we'd be hold the second set of camel for a full minute as a result! She said she's give the option to come out of it when we normally do, but I decided I was going to hold it the whole time. It was AWESOME. I almost felt like I was flying when I came out of it. The post-camel feeling is such a beautiful release. I almost started crying, not from sadness and not quite from happiness. It's hard to explain, but it's simply a lightness.

Because we pushed camel longer, we also pushed the second set of rabbit longer so we would have a balanced backbend/forward bend combo. I didn't hold rabbit as long as I held camel, but I pushed it longer than normal until I legitimately couldn't breathe anymore. That's always my problem in rabbit. My stomach and chest will push up into my throat and squish my breathing parts. It's a work in progress!

Can I mention how much I hate spine twist? I can't get my heel to touch my knee, it's always like... the side of my ankle, or even my calf. Then the instructor today said our weight should be in our front knee, when I've been trying to keep it even in my hips. This posture makes me feel totally clueless some days. I think it will get a little easier as I continue to tone up, because my stomach makes the twisting a little awkward right now. I'll just keep trying and see where I end up.

And now to make some delicious food for the holiday party! Perhaps I will see you there. :)

Days 36 & 37

I don't remember much from yesterday's class. It was another good, solid class with strong breath control. Sometimes, there just isn't too much to say about a class and that's how I feel about yesterday.

Today, however... sigh. Today's class wasn't so great for me. The good news is that my bad classes are not quite as bad as they used to be. I only got a touch dizzy and I didn't skip any poses. So I'm pretty happy that my perception of a bad class has been bumped up a notch.

I am having a lot - and I mean a LOT - of trouble with triangle. It's the bane of my existence right now. I have a hard time taking a wide enough step so I don't have to wiggle my foot around to get my thigh flat. My heels don't want to stay in line. I cannot, for the life of me, stop slipping and sliding. If I get my arms vertical and look up to the ceiling, I almost always fall over. I am working really hard to not get frustrated with myself in triangle because frustration never serves me. I guess we all looked miserable because the instructor lovingly laughed at us and said, "It's just triangle, guys!"

My hips were not good in this class. I had to do a lot of mid-posture hip adjustments and sit through a lot of wonky savasanas. Fixed firm pose was bad and I felt a cramp in my back, weirdly enough, which I think means I was doing something really wrong. I need to keep my back flat on the ground and not arch at all. That pose either really works or really doesn't for me. In bow, despite my wonky hips, I managed to get some spinal compression. At the very end of bow, I tightened my glutes as much as humanly possible and my legs shot in towards the center, which is AWESOME! I love bow pose!

The general consensus post-class was that it was a fairly hot one, but I didn't really notice the heat much. It would explain why I got dizzy in that one spot, though. Also, something I read in a teacher training blog (I went on a TEAR of reading TT blogs for a minute there) struck me: when the room is on the cooler side, the game is physical. Your body doesn't stretch as easily because it's not as warmed up. When the room is on the hotter side, the game switches to mental. Your body is supple and flexible but your brain is jumping off bridges and you have to rein it in. It's an interesting thought for sure. And it'd explain why my head was a little off today in class!

See you crazy kids tomorrow. I'm thinking about a double on Friday but it all depends on how much I get done between now and then. We'll see!

Days 34 & 35

I'm having a really nice stretch of classes right now. I LOVE YOGA!

The biggest change is that I am not really having to stop in the standing series anymore. I've been paying a lot of attention to my breath and it's definitely helping. I've also been working on not getting too attached to emotions and thoughts. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "Ugh, it's hot" and then I take a breath and think, "but you'll live" and continue with my practice. Steering my mind away from negative thoughts really helps to remove their hold on me.

I had my best standing bow yet today! My left side continues to be better than the right (in a strange reversal from the norm), and I really got deep into the posture today. I felt compression in my back and my leg was shaking I was pushing it back so hard. After I released, I felt like it was five months ago and I was coming out of my first good camel. In moments like these, it's impossible to keep the smile off one's face.

I can definitely feel improvements in rabbit. I can get my forehead to my knee now, though it's tough to hold it. I also realized I have a problem with my hips being too open when I sit Japanese-style, which impacts the postures that follow the direction to sit as such. Today, I focused on keeping my knees together, which meant tightening my inner thighs and flattening my feet on the floor. It makes the posture really, really, really hard, which obviously means I'm doing it the right way. Heh.

Another weird thing I'm noticing is that I'm healing lightning-fast. I tend towards clumsiness and am always picking up burns or cuts from the kitchen, bruises from running into things, etc. Two days ago, I tore off a big chunk of one of my toenails and it was a bit of a bloody mess. Today, you would never have known it bled, it's so well-healed. The other day, I cut myself on the trunk of my car (don't ask me how because I have no idea) and I couldn't even find the cut the next day. I guess my blood is flowing through my body extra well these days. It's insane and cool. It also makes me have less attachment to pain. If I burn myself pulling my dinner out of the oven, I don't dwell on it because I know it's going to heal super fast.

I keep discovering new and exciting benefits from the practice and it is beyond exciting. I'm definitely doing at least one double this week. I've been bitten by the double bug and I'm psyched about it. I need to get a double or two in before I leave town for Christmas so that I can have some leniency with travel days. Also, doubles are kind of fun. Shh, don't tell anyone.

Days 32 & 33

This has been such a fantastic yoga week that I almost can't believe it. Last night's class was somewhat unremarkable, just a normal solid class. However, I was overtaken by the most amazing flood of energy a few hours after class ended. I turbo-cleaned my kitchen... and I do mean turbo-cleaned. I even had a little plastic knife out to do some detail cleaning of the stovetop, which hasn't been done since we moved in last March. I love that I finally have the energy to do things that I normally avoid.

Tonight's class was another one of those good-but-unremarkable types. There weren't really any breakthroughs, it was just a solid practice, which is fine with me. I was focused and strong. I did feel like the heat wasn't as hot as it normally is, but who knows. I can never really tell if it's hotter/cooler than normal or if my body is just different/I'm controlling my breath differently/etc. I just try not to focus on temperature anymore and just practice as hard as I can.

I found an awesome blog about teacher training that you should check out if you're curious at all about the process. Reading this blog REALLY motivated me and got me excited about my future. I think I tentatively have my sights set on Spring 2012 for TT. My body will let me know if it's ready or not when the time comes, but I have the opportunity for over 450 classes between then and now (more, if I get crazy with some doubles). That's lots of time to practice! I'm not setting anything in stone for TT; when it happens, it happens. The financially responsible side of me has tentatively set the date simply so I can get my savings plan together. If worse comes to worst, if my body isn't ready, at least I'll have the financial part squared away.

Time to immerse myself in "Autobiography of a Yogi!" Goodnight, friends!

Day 31

Last night's class was another great one. I had very good control of my breath which really helped to propel me through towards the end of class. Instead of allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the heat, I just tried to breathe through it. I had a hyper level of focus and it really helped me get the most out of class.

I also had a very bizarre connection with the instructor in this class. I simply knew when he was speaking to me. He didn't have to say my name for me to be aware he was directing his energy at me. I don't really know how to explain it, except it was the closest sense I've gotten to a guru/student relationship so far in this practice. I felt like he was a radio transmitting energy to my frequency (a concept I just learned about in Paramahansa Yogananda's "Autobiography of a Yogi"). He'd give me a correction without saying my name, I'd make the correction, and as soon as I did, he'd give positive vocal feedback that I instinctively knew was directed at me. It was a very strange and wonderful synergy.

I'm experiencing a lot of change in standing head to knee. I am consistently kicking my right leg towards the mirror now. The instructor yesterday told me to really force my toes back towards my face once my leg is kicked out and this was very valuable advice. I felt the stretch like crazy on the underside of my leg. I'm still working on being able to grab my left foot and hold it with my knee locked, but the fact that I'm close to it is fantastic. Progress!

I had one of the best standing bows I've ever had! My lightning-bolt focus really served me in this posture. I was able to hold the first set on the left side for almost the entire minute! During this posture, I especially noticed the aforementioned synergy with my instructor. It felt beautiful.

Triangle continues to be a big challenge and I feel like sometimes my momentum hits a brick wall as soon as I set up for it. My body is definitely strengthening a lot now that I'm consistently able to attempt the posture, but it's certainly one of the hardest asanas for me. I have a very hard time with my balance. I'm working on keeping my hips down and my chest lifted. I tend to topple over once I look up towards the ceiling, so I'll be working very hard on focus over the next few classes.

Floor bow is really becoming something special for me. Correcting my hip alignment makes me able to work very deeply into my spine and it feels amazing. I love this posture, even though it's very difficult. Spinal compression is one of my favorite feelings these days.

Rabbit pose is getting better, too. I'm working on lifting my hips off my heels to really get into that spinal stretch. I have a hard time with this posture, since my chest/belly bulk can tend to choke me from time to time. I also tend to get overheated in this posture. I am going to work on keeping my breathing as regular as possible in this posture to see if that helps. I'm figuring it probably will.

In head to knee with stretching, I also experienced the teacher synergy. I was able to lock my knee, lift my heel off the ground, keep my opposite knee on the ground, tighten my stomach, get my head to my knee, and roll in to the opposite side. It was really intense and beyond awesome.

All in all, yesterday's class was a humdinger. I love when I put together a good string of classes where I feel change happening in my body. I'm expecting to have another fantastic one this afternoon. I will work as hard as humanly possible! YEAH!

Day 30: Second half of the double!

The second half of my double was just as good as the first half! I found it much, much easier to breathe in this class (probably because I had already worked on breathing for an hour and a half) and I had a surprising amount of control. My focus was really spot-on and I worked into my body deeper than in the first class today. There's really something to this double thing.

My most surprising new favorite posture is the backbend in half moon! Losing the fear of that posture is definitely the best first step towards a really deep bend. For me, I need to square my hips towards the mirror and make sure my weight is in my heels before I try to go backwards at all. The tip I received today to point my fingers back at the wall has totally changed the posture for me. For some reason, it makes me bend so much deeper. I never thought I'd be saying that I look forward to any part of half moon! Change is good.

My spine had a fantastic day. Bow continues to get better for me. I know I've got my hips in the right place when I feel the compression in my lower spine. It's not a comfortable feeling but it's a feeling I definitely look forward to in every single class now.

Rabbit was good today, too. I am now working on lifting my hips off my heels which really increases the spinal stretching. I now get more of a camel-like release with rabbit than ever before. It just feels so gooooood.

After class, I have a lot of energy. I felt really body-tired after the first class of the double. I laid down a lot and took a little nap in the early evening. I feel surprisingly less tired both mentally and physically after the second class. My body is definitely sore from taking 3 classes in 26 hours but it's nothing bad. I feel pretty damn fantastic.

Days 28 & 29 (part 1)

So, last night's class was probably my worst ever. I had a few issues, namely that I ate too close to class and I had massive cramps. My stomach was not well. I spent the vast majority of class (post-first set of standing head to knee) on my back in savasana, simply trying to not leave the room/throw up. Considering how awful I felt, I was pretty proud that I was able to stay in the room. I definitely almost fled several times. I decided to put the bad class behind me and look forward to today's double!

I've completed the first part of the double already today. Jason and I got up at the crack of dawn to hit up the 7:30 am class. Waking up at 6 is torture for me but getting out of class at 9 am and feeling all awake and happy is priceless. As Jason said after class, "What a great way to start the day!"

Class today was fantastic for me! I'm not sure if the heat wasn't as bad or if my body was just acclimated better, but I didn't get dizzy at all. The class was small and Jason and I both got a lot of personal correction, which I LOVE. I even got a correction and a compliment on my backbend, which was so cool since I have very recently figured out how to relax my right side to bend deeper. I love feeling compression in my lower spine!

In balancing stick, I worked really hard on keeping my lifted leg's hip down in line with the other. God, does that make the posture so much harder! It's a little easier to balance that way, though. It's one of my first real breakthroughs on this particular posture, so it's worth noting.

In half-tortoise, the teacher told me to try and lift my arms up before my head at the end of the posture. HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL, that is hard. I kind of fruitlessly flopped on the ground for a minute before getting out of the posture, but I know I'll get there eventually if I keep trying. It's all just a matter of time.

I've been finding that if my hips are out of line, I need to look at my shoulders. Often, when my hips are twisted or wonky, my right shoulder will be WAY higher than the left. So I'm working on relaxing my shoulder down, which in turn usually evens out my hips. I'm making baby steps towards fixing my silly ballet hips. It's a slow process, but I'm seeing progress so it's great.

And now, I'm going to rest for a while before making dinner. I will make sure to eat WAY in advance of class (I'm thinking at least 4 hours before is best) so I don't get nauseous or birth a food baby in the middle of wind-removing pose. I'll let you know how the second half of the double goes! After tonight, I'll be all caught up and halfway done. Wow.

Days 26 & 27

This challenge is flying by. I can't believe it's already almost halfway over. I had one of the most breakthrough-filled classes in a long while today and I can attribute this to my mindest. I went to class today with the idea fixed firmly in my head that I would try my absolute hardest. I was not allowing any slack at all. "If you can, you must."

I know that's the attitude I should have before every class. I'll admit, I struggle sometimes to keep my head in the game. I'm working harder than I've ever worked in my life but sometimes I wonder if I'm really working to my maximum. Today, there was no doubt.

As a result, I had success with practically every posture. I did much better than usual on the second part of awkward and was able to keep my balance almost the entire time. I leaned farther back in eagle than ever before, too! I felt my leg wrap just a tiny bit more than usual on second set. Sweet!

Standing head to knee is becoming a posture I actually look forward to now. I'm now able to grab my right foot and kick it forward with a locked knee. I even locked my other knee today - then promptly lost my balance. But it's farther than I've ever progressed in that pose before and that is a happy success! Additionally, I was able to grab my left foot. Kicking out is still a ways off on the left side but to have two firsts in the same posture is really, really cool.

I had a huge breakthrough in bow! I tried really hard to keep my hips in line from the very beginning of the posture. I made sure I was perfectly balanced on my hips/chest before I kicked up and it really helped. With my hips not opened up, I was able to achieve intense compression in my lower spine. For the first time ever in that pose, I didn't feel even a tiny bit out of alignment. I think I felt how it's really supposed to feel for the first time. It was glorious!

I focused on my hip alignment in camel and was rewarded with more spinal compression than normal! I have been feeling this compression at the base of my back in my lower spine. It's a crazy sensation and it makes me feel fantastic. I love the feeling of blood pumping through my body after releasing a posture!

I can touch my head to my knees in rabbit. I'm doing this now with my knees squeezed together and my stomach tight. Tightening the stomach really helps in forward bends, come to find out. Of course, the teachers have been reminding me of this for months, but I finally decided to go ahead and listen!

I can consistently get my forehead to knee in sitting head to knee, which gives me the world's craziest rush. I got this particular rush a few times in class today, but it was strongest after head to knee. It sort of messes up my vision for a few seconds and isn't entirely unlike dizziness but is definitely NOT dizziness. I don't know how else to describe it! It's pretty cool, though.

In almosts: I almost touched my face to my legs in hands to feet. I almost held the entire standing bow. I almost got my head to the floor in separate leg stretching. Almosts are almost as exciting as firsts!

Class 28 tomorrow and then classes 29 and 30 on Wednesday! A double is in my future and I'm beyond excited about it!

Days 24 (oops) and 25

Day 24 simply wasn't.

Jason and I planned on taking the 4:30 together since he took the day off work. We slept in and lazed around in the morning and then got ready for class. On the way, we hit a massive pile of traffic that conveniently had us reaching the parking lot at the stroke of 4:30. As we had to change, use the restroom, and purchase water, it dawned on us that we didn't really have time to get in there before the end of pranayama. So we made a split-second decision: We would skip class that day and commit to a double on another day. It just wouldn't be a 60-day challenge without missing a class due to circumstances outside my control, now would it?

It's kind of exciting, though. For starters, I've been wanting to try out some doubles but my silly brain has been doing a great job of talking me out of it for the past few weeks. This gives me an absolute reason to do one, which I'm hoping will turn into a desire to do more. Jason suggested doing a 7:30 am/8:15 pm combo which is way less intimidating than my last double, which I did back-to-back. Also, we've taken the 8:15 pm one day and the 7:30 am the next, so I've actually done doubles closer together than that before. I can come home, make some food, and even take a nap if I need to in between the two classes. I'm totally sold and Jason seems kind of pumped up about it too!

Today's class was nice. Jason gave me a great tip for balance in standing head to knee. Instead of trying to keep my leg lifted once I've got it in my hand, it makes a much bigger difference in my balance if I press my leg into my hands and pull my upper body up. It's got that "natural human traction" feeling to it and it makes my standing leg way more solid. I only fell out of the first set three times this way, which is a pretty great success for me.

A teacher the other day told us to push the tops of our feet into the ground on cobra, which has increased both the difficulty and the benefit of the posture for me. I am now touching my heels and toes without turning my hips out! It's not perfect every time, but I'm far more consistent than I've ever been. I can work a lot deeper into my spine this way. I like when things start to line up properly.

The absolute best thing about this practice is that you will never run out of things to work on. When you think you have a posture figured out, some small piece of it will open up and completely change everything. I love breakthrough days like this.

I feel great after today's class. I even had the energy to cook a new recipe, broccoli and potato soup, which I am now about to enjoy. And thus the blog comes to a close!

Day 23

I went to the noon class by myself today, since Jason and I have plans when he gets off work. It's nice to go a couple times a week during the day to get class out of the way early!

I'm noticing a big increase in strength the past few days. I'm pretty sore in my glutes and legs and abdomen. I've been feeling new muscles pop up all over my body in places I didn't even know muscles were supposed to be. I've been really ravenously hungry in the past few days and I'm assuming it's because I'm building muscle pretty fast. My cravings have all been for things like beans and cottage cheese, so I'm wagering that I need extra protein right now to sustain the rapid muscle gain.

Other than that, I feel a little like I did at the beginning of my practice. I'm suddenly floored tired again as opposed to light and full of energy. I'm hungry as hell. This has to be a sign that I'm achieving changes in my body. As out of shape as I was when I began my practice, I'm not really surprised that I'm reaching peaks and valleys along the way. It's going to take me a lot longer to get to a place where I can call myself "fit," but I'm motivated by more than just numbers on a scale now. And who knows? Maybe tomorrow's class will leave me bouncing off the walls! But for now... I'm going to lay on the couch and chill out until Jason gets home from work.

Days 16-22

I have had plenty of motivation to going to class but shockingly little for writing in this blog. My apologies! However, my practice is getting stronger and stronger despite my little respite in posting.

The biggest news is that I've begun to regularly keep my hips in alignment. I've figured out that if I really squeeze my inner thighs and keep my knees together, my hips stay in the proper place. It also really helps me to keep my stomach tight, which I've been working on very hard in the past week.

I feel like I've bumped up my practice to a new level in the first part of this challenge. I'm working into different parts of my body. I'm actually going less deep in a lot of the postures but I'm doing them with proper form. "Form before depth" - yeah, I finally understand it!

I can grab my right foot in standing head to knee! YES! I can't hold it very long with my knee locked but, sweet sassy molassy, does it work my core. The discovery of muscles in my stomach continues to amaze me. I cannot believe how long I went without using these muscles! Finding my abs means slightly more stabilization and the ability to push my arm up to the ceiling in triangle. I actually got through all four triangles today! No sitting for me in the standing series. It was a very nice feeling.

I think I must be building a lot of muscle because I've been sort of staying in the same 3-pound weight range since the beginning of the challenge. I can feel it in my body but it can be tough to listen and be patient.

Life is good. Jason signed up for the auto-pay program at yoga so he's committed to at least three more months! YAY! Have I mentioned that going together is the best? IT IS THE BEST.

Days 11-15

Ladies and gentlemen, I am hitting my stride.

Class has gotten to the point where it just feels good. Even if I have a sort of hard class with the dizzies or my focus, I still feel amazing when I leave. I'm noticing a lot of emotional releases in class now (camel and rabbit, i'm looking at you) and it feels unlike anything I've ever felt before. It's a lightness; it's an unloading. I am so intensely grateful for this feeling.

In awesome body-image news: I'm starting to notice HUGE changes in my body. A lady I see at class on occasion stopped me today and said, "I just wanted to say that I haven't been at class in the past two weeks and I can't believe how good you look since the last time I saw you! How much weight have you lost?" - to which I blushed, stammered, and said, "Creeping up on 50 pounds now!" and then it kind of hit me that I've almost lost 50 pounds. The most weight I've ever shed in the past was 35 pounds and that was with obsessive calorie counting which, of course, led to failure. I don't count calories or track my food or measure my portions anymore. I just do my yoga and it works itself out. What a release.

It's a little weird to, like, check myself out in the mirror but I've been taking visual notes on my body to track my changes. I've noticed some really big changes in my upper body since starting yoga but especially lately. My arm muscles are getting pretty defined (though I'll need to lose more fat before you can really see it), and my collarbone is starting to become visible further up towards the shoulder. On the lower half, my legs are freaking diesel (for me) and my hip bones have come out to say hi. This might sound weird but I had such a messed up idea of where my hips actually were. I now know! Heh.

I've had varying degrees of energy after class this week. Yesterday, I had the most ridiculous crazy energy. I couldn't sit still and I did an awful lot of standing. I kept finding myself creeping up on my toes and trying to balance (since the second part of awkward pose is hell for me to find my balance in) and I was light, happy, and talkative.

It makes me a little emotional when I look back on my progress just in the past year. When Jason and I went to New York City in September of last fall, I felt disabled by my size. I developed crazy pain and numbness in my right leg from the first day of walking. By the last day of our trip, I had to embarrassingly insist on taking a cab everywhere because my leg hurt so bad I couldn't walk. It was humiliating. I have never felt so bad about myself in my life as I did on that trip.

And now? I want to walk everywhere. Hell, I can even run - and not just fast walking, but actual running! My legs are strong and I know my quads are built up enough to guide my kneecaps (which was a problem I encountered when I first started to get in shape). I'm no longer handicapped by my size. I have come to a point in my life where the question of hitting my goal weight isn't even a question anymore, it's just a matter of time. I don't have any doubts I can be at a healthy weight for my height. My determination is fixed. I will be a success story and then I will help other people find the same success and experience this peace.

I do believe I have found my calling.

Days 10 & 11

The past two classes were great! I feel like I've had a big breakthrough with my breathing. I've been really focusing on my breath in class and it's helped me to stave off the dizzies and go much further into poses than normal. I have also started to come to like the feeling of blood being cut off to a certain body part, then flooding back in. It's taken a while. I hated the feeling at first but now it's something I look forward to in so many postures. I like that this practice makes me enjoy sensations I used to hate!

I'm finding a lot of success lately in hands to feet pose. I still can't get my face on my legs below my knees but it's looming ever closer. I think I've finally figured out the balance of weight, which always skyrockets my success in any posture. I've started pushing my hips up, which helps to pull my face below my knees. I definitely feel the stretch deeper than I ever have in that pose, so I know I'm doing something right!

I'm seeing small improvements in triangle. Mostly, I can at least attempt the pose now without nearly fainting. A teacher a couple classes ago told us to keep the weight in the heels, which will help with sliding feet. It works! So now my biggest problem in triangle is balancing once I turn my head up to the ceiling. Once I turn my head, I basically collapse and fall over. I'm working on it.

Bow is seriously my new favorite. I can feel so much going on in my spine during and after it! I think it's really helping to tone up my glutes, too. The last few seconds of bow really burn but it's so worth it to hold til the very end for the rush of blood that floods my entire back post-release.

Classes are going so well and I'm starting to be in love with my daily practice. I can't wait to go back tomorrow! The closer together I take classes, the better they tend to feel in my body. The noon tomorrow is going to be a beauty!

Also, for the friend of Rachel's in East Texas who is currently doing a 60-day challenge in her bathroom who reads this blog: Hi! You are an inspiration! Keep up the awesome work. :)

Days 8 & 9

Jason and I decided to do another 8:15 pm / 7:30 am class pairing this week so that we could practice together. I'm actually growing to like this structure; it feels almost like a double since the classes are so close together. We had the same teacher for each and I feel like he got the best out of both of us, so score!

Last night's class was so great that after I got home, I couldn't stop buzzing around the house doing things. Jason and I started a fire in the fireplace and I went on to finally clean the bedroom of our post-vacation debris (suitcases, clothes all over the place, etc). I cleaned the laundry room a touch and did a slew of laundry. It was awesome to have so much energy, especially so late at night when I usually just want to lay on the couch and be lazy. Jason did all the dishes and cooked a delicious dinner for the both of us. Yay, yoga energy!

The 7:30 class this morning was a good one as well, though I am pretty physically tired right now. Granted, I only got a few hours of sleep, so it's understandable. I'm definitely not as tired as I normally would be after five hours of sleep, so there is something to doing yoga to stave off tiredness.

The teacher today told me he thinks I should start competing. Talk about a total shock! I don't really think of myself as competition-ready but I suppose that competition isn't really about winning a prize, it's about pushing your practice. I explained that I'm aiming to teach sometime in the future and he said competition could help me get there. It's an interesting thought, one I will likely bandy around in my head for some time before I settle into it. I know I plan on doing another 60-day challenge basically as soon as this one's over, so that's a step in the right direction.

This challenge feels a lot different from the last one. In the last one, I was focused on just getting through and making it in the door every day. I'm now able to do so much more of all the postures and I derive much more benefit from each asana as a result. I am not daunted at all at the thought of going to class every day for the next 51 days. I'm actually looking forward to it. It's ten times more fun now that Jason and I are going together. I love the ride home after class where we compare notes about how class went for each of us.

I'm very happy these days and I have this practice to thank. :)

Days 5-7

Days 5 & 6 of practice were absolutely amazing. I had two of the best classes I've ever had! Day 6 was notably great, as I was able to do at least one set of every posture and was actually able to do both sets of most postures. I did some insanely deep (for me) backbends and I was ablaze with energy after class. It was surreal; I was in the world's best mood and had enough energy to run on all day long. I was so happy to recapture the best benefits from a regular yoga practice relatively quickly.

Day 7, however, was a much different story. I had one of my hardest classes in a long, long time. I had a particularly terrible, knee-buckling bout of the dizzies. I tried to only squat for a few moments and come back up to standing, but I just didn't have the strength. I pushed myself as far as I could go but I didn't feel well in class. Even sitting up was awful, so from camel to the end of class, I just laid in savasana. Around this time, I started to get a very unsettling numb tingling sensation in my face, from my chin up to the bridge of my nose. I tried my best to not freak out about it and keep my breathing regular.

After class, I raced out to the front and explained what was going on with my face. They asked if I had drank enough water during the day, which I really had. I was using the restroom every half hour at work and felt super hydrated. I don't think I ate enough, though, and am a bit iron-deficient at this time. The front desk staff was really great and gave me a freshly-filled water bottle with some electrolyte powder. After drinking it, I felt much better and was able to pack up and head out.

I am glad I know that bad classes happen and to not be discouraged by them. Your body is different every day you go into the yoga room and my worst classes are often followed by great ones. My mindset is strong and I'm hoping for a great practice tonight!

Day 4: Early morning class

Today, Jason and I braved the 7:30 am class so we could still practice together but not have to miss out on Friday night fun. I'd never been to such an early class before and I must say, I kind of loved it. I like getting up and doing yoga first thing. Not only does it mean I don't have any anticipation during the day of having to go to class later, but it also means I get to enjoy the benefits all day long. Done with yoga by 9 am? Yes, please.

Most of my poses were kind of unremarkable. I felt a little unfocused. There was a lot of talking in the room before class started which made it really difficult to just focus on my breath, which in turn I think affected my pranayama breathing. The standing series was a bit shaky for me in places, but I did my best. Sometimes it's really hard to pull yourself together after you get that first wave of dizziness. I just worked on focusing and tried to stand as much as possible. I only went to the ground if I felt like a black-out would happen if I stayed upright.

The best pose of the day for me was definitely bow. I've got my brain wrapped around this one pretty solidly and I'm shocked at my depth. I still need to work on keeping just six inches between my knees and feet. Also, I have to figure out the shoulder rotation a bit better. There's a certain point when my shoulders need to rotate so I can continue pushing up with my legs without hurting my shoulders. Finding that point and relaxing into that while still pushing up is tough, but I like the feeling. I swear, I almost saw my feet over the top of my head today! It's going to be SO exciting when I do. Hopefully by the end of this challenge!

I also felt good in spine twist, which is usually not a great posture for me. I think I've finally got a handle on how to put pressure on my knee with my elbow to get the maximum twist in my spine. I can actually feel the twist now, which must mean I'm doing something right!

All in all, it was a solid class. And now I have the whole day in front of me! I've done my yoga before I'm normally even awake. How about that!

Day 3: Back in the swing!

Ahhh, what a GREAT class I had today! For the first time in quite a while, I was able to make it through the standing series without sitting down. I had to take a couple pauses but they really were pauses and not full stops. I reconnected with my breath and pushed forward. And, let me tell you, I have been rewarded!

I feel so calm and at peace right now. My body is relaxed and free of tension and pain. My muscles are tired and a touch sore but I feel in control of them. I have a gentle skin humming which I think might outwardly translate as a touch of glow. I feel like I could either go run a marathon or fall into deep sleep. I haven't felt this good since... well, since I was regularly practicing over the summer.

I'm feeling the stretch all the way into my hip in half moon now. It's crazy how such a small adjustment can make all the difference in the world. I guess that's why this yoga remains challenging even after many years of practice. Awkward pose has gotten difficult for me and I struggle notably in the second part where you rise onto your toes. I always want to turn my hips out to get my balance. It's incredibly hard for me to stand on my toes with my feet in that alignment, so I just work on the very first part as hard as I can.

The standing series was full of rewards for me today! Standing bow is really becoming one of my favorite postures. I even got a compliment from the teacher after class about it today! Once I realized I was pushing my energy in the wrong direction, it just totally rocket-launched my leg up towards the sky. Come to find out, it makes balancing so much easier!

The floor series was great! I love this part of class so much. I am starting to understand why Bikram says the floor series is "where the real yoga begins." My spine's flexibility has increased a lot and that means I can get deeper into a lot of the postures. I really love bow pose. Additionally, camel was fantastic today. I pushed my knees into the ground and worked on opening my chest up to the sky. I came out of the second set with a huge smile on my face. It was so fantastic!

All in all, today was a great class and I got to share it with Jason, which made it even better. He had a great one too! He said it was possibly his best ever. Thumbs way up all around. I love these challenges!

I think the best part about regular practice is that it straightens up my food issues fast and definitively. After class, the thought of "bad" food is just kind of gross to me. I want vegetables and fruit and protein and small portions. It's honestly worth the effort of a daily practice just to be in control of my food choices. When you add in all the other benefits, it becomes even greater. Ahhh. Now, time for a salad!

Day 2

Day 2 of my challenge was another step in the right direction. Jason wanted to practice yesterday, so I waited til he was out of work and we hit up the 8:15 pm class. This class is usually pretty empty and yesterday was no exception. I sometimes love a smaller class, usually if it means the instructor gives a lot of personal corrections. Other times, I wish I had the bigger class to feed off the group energy. Either way, I know my class is dictated by my attitude and will and none of these details I sometimes obsess over.

The beginning of class was great for me again. I focused on locking my elbows a lot. I pulled harder and stretched further in hands to feet than I have in a long time. The stretch felt so good. The problem is, when I really push myself in the warmup, I'm pretty much hosed for the rest of the standing series. I know I have to just keep pushing myself in the beginning and my stamina will increase. I'll be able to struggle a little more with each attempt.

So, my standing series was lackluster at best. However, I had a good separate leg stretching with ZERO pain in either hamstring! And by zero pain, I mean zero bad pain. There was plenty of good stretching muscle pain. Savasana was really, really awesome after struggling through the first part of class.

The floor series has REALLY begun to open up to me. I love the spine strengthening series so much! I have strengthened my glutes and back enough that I've improved my depth in the last part of locust. I can actually feel muscles working that I've never used before. It's weird to explain, but I've never been a muscular person so to get to the point where I normally hit a wall and then have another muscle kick in to take over is really a bizarre and fantastic sensation.

Bow pose is getting really great! I love feeling the compression in different parts of my spine. I've wrapped my head around pushing my legs up instead of out and back, which has changed my approach to both standing and floor bow.

So, today, I'm exhausted and unfocused. I am going to rest a bit before class tonight (Jason and I are doing the 8:15 again) and hope that sleep and a decent meal will give me some energy. I know I'm tired because I'm exerting myself as much as I can in class and that if I keep it up, I will eventually get back to having energy instead of being drained. Just have to get over the hump. It's coming and I just have to work for it.

...and then, I'll think twice before letting my practice slip away again. ;D

A new challenge! Day 1

Hello, all! I am back to a dedicated daily practice and I couldn't be happier about it. After my first challenge ended, I felt a pretty big letdown and had to switch my focus from yoga to work in preparation of a two-week vacation to visit my family in Boston. I didn't practice very much in October, admittedly. However, I did manage to get Jason into the hot room! Even more shocking, I got my mom to go with us!

That was a huge moment for me, truly. My mom and I both got into health-related changes at the same time and she's ironically lost pretty much the same exact amount of weight as I have so far. Taking a yoga class was way outside her comfort zone, and I was so unbearably proud of her for going. Since we left town, she's continued going to class! I can't wait for her to get over the initial hump and really feel the benefits. It's also done really great things for our relationship. My mom and I never really called each other before except if it was really important. We email a lot, but calling was reserved mostly for holidays and bad news. Now, we call each other to talk about class, which I love!

Jason did a fantastic job, too. He's already in pretty good shape so he could do a lot of the postures well right off the bat. In nearly every class I've taken with him, the instructor has called him out for having a great rabbit pose! It's really fun to go to class with him, because I get that outlet of talking to someone about class who really understands what it's like to be in the room. Also, it makes me happy to know that we're both doing something healthy. Jason and I are incredibly close (obviously, since we've been together for over three years and lived together for two and a half) and I feel like practicing together brings us even that much closer.

So, since getting back from vacation I've been in crazy prep mode for a craft fair I vended at this past weekend. I only took a couple classes last week and decided that I wanted to really re-dedicate myself to my practice today. I figured there was no better way to advance my practice than to do another 60-day challenge. So, here we are!

Today's class was probably the best one I've ever had. The teacher was one I've never had before and she was excellent. She was constantly reminding us about proper alignment and gave a bunch of awesome "lift the chest!" instructions that completely changed a lot of the postures for me. I felt like today was one of those breakthrough classes where tons of change is happening. The warm-up part of class was notably better. The instructor kept telling us to lock our elbows and lift our chests, which made half moon fantastic for me today.

I pushed myself really, really hard. This meant that I got dizzy quite a bit, but I got up as soon as I possibly could to try again. I was rewarded with a lot of gifts in class as a result. The sensation I get from a lot of the postures has morphed from tingling to a warm glow. It is a weird sensation to try to describe but it is actually kind of spiritual.

Another posture I had great success in today was the stretching part of head to knee. the instructor told us to keep our spine straight and pull forward while pushing the shoulders back. I felt the stretch like never before! In spine twist, I felt the twist go all the way up into the top of my neck! I exhaled harder than ever in kapalabhati breathing and my abs are rather sore now but in that great "I exerted muscles that get little action" kind of way. In fact, my whole body feels like that today. I have grown to like the feeling of sore muscles. That's something I never thought I'd say!

Part of the inspiration behind this new challenge is to make yoga a daily part of my life in an attempt to pursue a career as a teacher. I know that I'm not anywhere near ready to teach this practice but I also know that I will be someday if I push myself and work as hard as possible to get there. I spoke with my friend Liz, who is a Bikram teacher, and she suggested to take my time and practice often. Sound advice indeed. I am pursuing this goal but allowing myself to wait for the exact right time to present itself. And it will. I have faith. :)

The struggle

I got back into the hot room today, as promised. It had only been 4 days since my last class, but it felt like forever. I was surprised at how good I felt in class. I didn't feel particularly strong, but I was able to push in new ways I've never been able to. My balance in half moon was so solid that I could get really deep into the posture and feel the stretch, which I normally don't.

The rest of my balance was pretty poor, however, especially in standing bow pulling pose. I keep pitching to the side in that pose, which I think has to do with (surprise, surprise) my hips being out of alignment. I worked on pushing my hips and abdomen flat today. It was a struggle, but struggle is good.

I have been getting that stupid hamstring pain in my left leg again in standing separate leg stretching. I talked to my instructor about it today after class and she suggested keeping my feet closer together to begin, pushing my weight into my toes, and getting my hands under my heels. I will try this tomorrow and see how it goes. It would be nice to actually be able to hold this pose instead of having to huff and puff out of it cause my hamstring is on fire.

Bow was pretty hard for me today, too. My spine felt really inflexible, which is probably due to not exercising it for a while. I also did a decent amount of running in my break from yoga, which I've really felt in my body. My biggest problem in that pose is keeping my weight balanced and my knees six inches apart. I also push the two sides up differently somehow, because one leg is always higher or closer in than the other.

Camel was magnificent. It was so cleansing to feel my beloved spine tingles again. It really is worth the entire class to get that feeling. The floor series is totally the best part of class for me. The standing series always knocks me around a lot. It's much more difficult for me, since a lot of balance is required and I'm not quite there yet. I feel like I get a lot more immediate physical benefit from the floor series, because I can feel the blood rushing through my body more.

Really, the most important thing about class today is that I got there and I completed it. I'm back, and it feels good. I'm taking class again tomorrow afternoon, in the name of staying dedicated to my practice.

Day 60: OK OK I KNOW, this took forever to write

So day 60 has come and gone, but I never wrote about it! Shame on me. I didn't skip the 60th day, in case you were wondering. Here is photo proof:



Day 60 was a tough one. I again took class with Joseph Encinia, and it was pretty much as hard as the one before. I recall feeling pretty out of sorts and maybe a little burned out. It was a pretty crazy mix of emotions when I finished. I may or may not have cried a little bit during final savasana. I got a t-shirt from the studio as a reward for finishing the challenge. It says: "I survived the Bikram Yoga challenge... and I got a new body, new mind, and new life." Best thing about said shirt? It's a size medium. I have never worn a size medium in my recollection. It's pretty close to my body, but it's definitely wearable. Success!

In other size-related news, I checked my scale and I lost around 12 pounds during the challenge. I didn't count calories at all. I found myself wanting to cook good food and eat small portions. It was as if suddenly, my food issues were gone. Gross foods I used to love suddenly were revolting to me.

In still more size-related news, I went clothes shopping (this one's for you, Jen) and was completely unsure of what size I wore so I had to try on a range of sizes to see where I was. It was actually kind of fun and I was astonished to find myself in the lowest size I've worn in my adult life. I dropped 2 sizes over the course of the 2-month challenge, and am now down a whopping 8 sizes since last Christmas. Additionally, I'm 3 band sizes smaller in my bra. Not much change in the cup yet. Sigh.

Since I was on a budget, I had to shop sensibly, but I got a faux leather jacket in hunter green, an awesome grey knit wrap that Jason says makes me look like a theater professor, a couple striped shirts (a go-to in my closet), a pair of fern green cargo pants, a pair of dark wash jeans, a sensible pair of black slacks (which I wore to my homeowner's association meeting last week), and a couple other smaller things. This was my reward to myself for completing the challenge! Jason took me to Spiral Diner as his reward, which was equally as awesome.

So what have I been up to since completing my challenge? A lot, but not a lot of yoga, unfortunately. I was on a big high during the last 15 days of the challenge and after it was over, I had an equally large crash. I felt like I didn't have a solid goal anymore and my attitude started nose-diving. I allowed myself to fall victim to excuses: "I have too much to do today to go to yoga," "it would be easier if I didn't have to drive out to Mockingbird," "I've got to get ready for my upcoming trip, it's okay to let yoga go on the back burner til I'm back." I took a day off, which melted into two. I took a weekend off, which melted into four days off. My food issues started creeping back and I started getting anxiety again. Last night hit and I decided it was time to cut the crap and be real with myself.

I think as we strive to achieve goals, there will always be plateaus. There will come a week where you just say yes to the short-term pleasures (i.e., being lazy on the couch) and say no to hard work. You'll eat more than you should at a meal, or get to class but don't push yourself as hard as you should. These things are almost certain to happen at some point and it's not inherently bad. It's how you push through these things and allow them to be the exception, not the habit, that determines your success. I'm human. I have bad weeks. But something Kasper said in the discussion a couple months ago (paraphrasing, yo) has come to me very recently that has made me re-commit to my practice: "When I do yoga, life is good. When I don't, it isn't. So I do yoga."

I'm going back tomorrow and I'm going every day until we leave for vacation on Saturday (2 weeks in Boston with my family AND I'm becoming an aunt - YAY!!!). On vacation, I am firmly holding myself to my original plan of practicing 3-4 times a week. If I need to get up early to fit it all in, I will do that. One of the things I like best about this practice is being a good role model, so to speak, for my parents. My mom was inspired by my hard work and has gone on her own weight loss journey, which I'm so incredibly proud of her for! I can't go home and allow a bad attitude to thwart their goals. I need to show them that we can all do it - get healthy, stay healthy, and be happy. I'm even going to work on my folks to come to yoga with me, which is going to be a huge struggle I'm not sure will end up bearing any fruit, but that I feel I should definitely try anyway.

I have felt such a negative change in my mood and body since taking a little breather on yoga, and it's been the kick I've needed to go back and recapture the goodness. Thankfully, it didn't take me all that long to figure this out, so I don't anticipate having that hard of a time falling back into it, though I do think tomorrow's class is going to be a doozy. I'll let you know how it goes!

Day 59: Phase 2

I feel like today I sort of broke though a mini-plateau in my practice. I feel as though I've progressed now from beginner-beginner to intermediate-beginner. This week, I've felt a definite change in my muscles and I'm getting sore in different places, which I think means I must have improved my leg and arm strength enough to really begin engaging my core and my butt. My balance is improving and I generally feel very strong.

In reading Bikram's "Bikram Yoga" book (my second of Bikram's reads), he mentioned in camel to use your spine to push your hips forward. This has totally rocket launched my posture, at least to me. The idea of using my spine as a pushing force helped me to open up my chest and adjust my weight to get a really great compression in the spine. After camel today, I felt like I had enough energy to fly to the moon. I've felt incredibly energetic and focused ever since.

After class today, my skin was buzzing and I had a fantastic lightness and openness in my chest. The world looked very bright, which of course sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth. I don't know how else to explain it, but on occasion I get visual effects from the practice. After camel, my vision tends to become colored with an orange hue, which has to do somehow with the color of the room and blood flowing to my brain. I see spots a lot, and get crazy blood-rushing-to-or-from-my-brain feelings quite often. Put the mushrooms down! You can trip from yoga! Heh.

So tomorrow is the final day of my 60-day challenge. Joseph Encinia is teaching the noon class tomorrow, so I'm going to take that one. Nothing like a real challenge on a big day. He won the 2010 Texas Asana Championships (his, I believe, 3rd year in a row) on Sunday, so it'll be fun to see him fresh off his win.

After tomorrow's class, I'm going to go on a shopping spree to buy some new clothes! For crying out loud, everything I own currently is falling off me. I can't wait to get some new things to wear, and I think it's a nice reward for achieving a goal that would have seemed completely out of my reach a year ago. I'll also do an official weigh-in to see how much weight I've lost over the two months. It probably won't be as much as I was dreaming, but I can tell that I've got a lot more muscle on my body than ever before, so I'll be fine with whatever the number is. I don't care what the number on the scale says if I can fit into smaller sizes!

Through Day 58: Joseph Encinia & hitting the home stretch

Friends, I am only two classes away from completing my 60-day challenge! It's amazing to be so close to the end! A lot has happened in my practice this week, including an out-of-this-world class with Joseph Encinia, the reigning men's Texas and U.S. asana champion. Let's start there.

Joseph is such an inspiring guy. He has overcome so many health issues, including rheumatoid arthritis and a heart attack at 13. To see him today, you'd never know he'd ever been plagued with any illness. He radiates a gorgeous calming energy and the entire time was beaming with a brilliant smile. That kind of energy is definitely something to aspire to, and I hope I can conquer my negativity and embrace the good vibes, so to speak.

His demonstration was sick, in the best way possible. The sheer amount of strength in his body is intimidating, as is his flexibility. In particular, there was one move (I don't exactly know the names for the postures, so bear with me) where he did a handstand on the very tips of his fingers and then dropped down with his body parallel to the floor, still balancing on his hands. I was quite literally slack-jawed watching him. It was incredible.

The class he taught was hands-down the best one I've ever taken. He's an amazing teacher and if you have the opportunity to take one of his classes, DO IT. He'll push your practice farther than you ever thought possible. After the class, I had soreness in places I don't usually - notably, in my abdomen and especially in my butt. He gave me a couple really fantastic corrections - a tap on the hip, a pull on my feet, a "open up your chest!" - that helped me to achieve success in poses that usually plague me.

The standing series was MUCH faster paced than usual, though I'm not entirely sure how that's possible since class seemingly took the same amount of time as normal. It was so fast and Joseph's dialogue was so driving that my heart was almost leaping out of my chest. I tried as hard as I could to push through it, but I had a couple times where I really had to take a knee and focus on my breathing. At one point, Joseph had to remind me it was okay to take a break if I needed it. I just really wanted to push as hard as I could! Sometimes, it's hard to know what your body can't do vs. what your mind is trying to talk you out of.

After class, I felt pretty amazing, if totally exhausted. Joseph was really friendly and open to talking afterward, so I naturally stopped by to say thank you. He was just as cool one-on-one as he was leading the class. The best part of our interaction was that he and one of the studio owners said I should go to teacher training! Joseph said "I feel the force in this one!" --- meaning, ME. Teacher training is something I've definitely thought about, but I've got to figure out the money + time away from home. It'd be possible to do it with my job, I'd just have to bust ass for a couple months to get ahead 9 weeks. We'll see, but it's definitely a thought on my radar for sure.

I can't believe I've almost finished the challenge. It has done wonders for my determination, for sure.

Days 48-52: A new practice

My practice has started to rapidly improve. The better it gets, the less I feel like writing, which is why I've been slacking my butt off on my blog this week! Sorry, friends, I'll do better on the last week of my challenge for sure!

The most notable changes have been in compression postures, which leads me to believe I'm gaining flexibility and losing bulk in my stomach & chest. I have gotten incredibly close to touching my face to my legs in hands to feet pose. I can consistently touch my forehead to my (bent) knee in standing separate leg head to knee pose. On occasion, I'm able to push my knee back and keep my head to my knee, but I'm still struggling with that part. In similar news, I almost screamed with joy yesterday when I felt my eyebrows brush my knees in rabbit! I haven't really been too close in the past, but with a focus on pulling my stomach in and rounding my spine, I've gotten there. I've also gotten consistent on touching my forehead to knee in head to knee with stretching on the floor. The left leg can almost always lock, the right can sometimes.

Moral of the story: the more I practice, the more I improve. This seems like such a "duh" concept, but it's a breakthrough for me. It really helps me on the days where I feel dizzy or weak or just have a shitty attitude. One of the things that helps me to go daily is to not think too deeply about the process of the postures before class. All I need to do is remind myself that no matter how much I struggle, class will eventually come to an end. I just need to get to class and the rest takes care of itself.

The challenge is so close to being over (one week from today is day 60, if you can believe that) and I'm starting to get a little nervous about what happens after that. It's become routine to go daily, but I definitely feel like a day or two off a week would very much help restore some balance to my life. I've been neglecting certain aspects of life, notably my crafting. I have a craft fair coming up in November that I need to get a lot more work done for, and while I don't want to neglect my practice, it's very important that I'm prepared and set for the two-day fair. So I think in my post-challenge world, it's all about instilling balance into my routine. I need to continue practicing, but do it in a way that doesn't interfere with things I need to do and enjoy doing.

Backstory: I lost a lot of weight before my senior year of college and felt awesome and looked the best I'd ever looked. At the height of my weight gain, I looked wistfully back on these days, wishing I could get back there somehow. Well, I tried on my smallest size jeans from that era and THEY FIT. Okay, maybe "fit" is a loose term for it, but I can put them on and zip them up. They're tight as though vacuum-sealed on my body, but in a few more pounds, they'll be comfortable. Weirdly enough, I'm still probably 15-20 pounds heavier than I was in college, but my body is much shapelier than it was at that time. Yoga changes and heals all, apparently.

Days 46 & 47: And the world is made of energy

Okay, so it's totally worth it to stick with my Bikram practice through the rough patches. You want to know why? The past two days, I have had SO MUCH buoyant and crackling energy that it's ridiculous. I used to get home from yoga and do nothing but lay on the couch staring at the TV blankly because I was just so tired. Now, I feel like doing things. I have a renewed energy and passion for life that I've never been able to fully grasp before.

Since I'm trying to get healthy and in shape, I've been cooking. Last night, after class I had the energy to make a big batch of carrot & ginger soup and artichoke rotini pasta. It was nice to have dinner cooking when Jason came home instead of being hungry on the couch and dreaming of take-out because I'm too lazy to get up. It's like a whole new world is open to me now, and I can't say that I'd have found it if it weren't for my yoga practice.

I'm also able to wake up a lot easier in the morning. Prior to starting my practice, it was not unheard of to find me in bed well past noon. Now, without really needing to, I've been getting up earlier and earlier. It started off with me sleeping no later than ten. Now I'm creeping even earlier. I got up the other day for a 9:30 yoga class which made me get up at 8:30 - on my day off! I didn't even care. I felt really awake and ready to attack the day and stayed full energy until it was time to go to bed.

I guess on some level, I didn't really believe that these changes would actually happen to me. Like there was something defective about me that wouldn't allow positive change to occur. Come to find out, there isn't anything wrong with me (in that respect anyway, heh) and I just needed to keep trying. I think that's the most important thing I've gotten out of this challenge so far: If something isn't working, reevaluate and keep trying.

In posture-related news, I managed to grab my right and left feet in standing head to knee! I kept dropping out of it but every time I dropped, I forced myself back in as quick as I could go. Keeping my momentum driving forward really helps me get a good cardio workout from class. Additionally, I locked my left knee in head to knee with stretching! I just sort of assumed my right leg would lock first since I feel strongly right-side dominant, but today my left knee locked with a great deal of exertion. I could feel compression in my neck and a cramp in my core! I sort of like cramps because they mean that I'm pushing my muscles really hard.

So I'm starting to notice out-of-class improvements as well as in-class improvements. This is so exciting. I can't wait to see how much better it all gets!

Day 45: Solid & Unspectacular

Today's class was another solid one! However, I again struggled in standing separate leg stretching and I think I'm going to talk to an instructor about it after tomorrow's class because it's really starting to bug me. It doesn't help that it's the posture immediately before triangle and consistently shakes my focus, making trikonasana even more terrible and difficult than it already is. Bah humbug!

I can't really think of any crazy improvement or any pose that was much better or worse than any other. Class today kind of flowed in a way it hasn't yet. It just kept on truckin' from pose to pose. I was careful to reduce wiping and fidgeting, at least marginally. I think that really helps with the feeling of being in control of the class, instead of feeling like the class is beating the crap out of you.

Day 45. 3/4 of the way done! Just over 2 weeks left. It's insane. Jason asked me what I plan to do after the challenge is over, and I'm not entirely certain. I know I'm keeping up my practice, but I think I'm going to need one day off a week to work on my etsy store and my upcoming craft fair. I think going back to the 5-6 days a week strategy might be good. But you never know, I might just try to stay with a 7 day a week plan. Stay tuned to find out!

Day 44: Hated posture improvements!

Today's class was another good one. I felt really strong and solid. I had some fantastic improvements in some of my most hated postures - half moon, standing head to knee, locust, & head to knee with stretching.

A quick note before I get into the bulk of today's work: The reigning men's U.S. yoga champion, Joseph Encinia got his start at Bikram Yoga Dallas and will be coming to teach a class on Friday, September 24 at 6:30 pm with a demonstration. Then later that weekend, he'll compete to defend his title! You should definitely swing by if you've been reading this and thinking about checking out a class. Joseph is an inspirational character - he had a heart attack at a young age, along with a slew of other health problems, and rose above it to become a truly fantastic yogi. I can't wait to see his postures in person!

So, in looking at Joseph's website, I was struck by his backbend in half moon pose. I think for the first time, it dawned on me what that pose is supposed to look like, and what exactly pushing your hips forward while keeping your weight on your heels entails. It helped my posture SO MUCH today in class! Instead of feeling like my back was stiff and unbending, pushing my hips forward allowed me to relax and bend my spine more than ever before. It really kind of surprised me, to be honest!

I grabbed my left leg in standing head to knee for the first time without releasing my ten-finger grip! Again, it was rather surprising to me. I dropped it almost immediately, but I had hand-to-foot contact with the proper grip! A step in the right direction. I also managed to lock my left knee out completely on the other side while holding my foot. I kept it solid for a few counts before I had to drop. This is a marked improvement from where this posture began for me, when I couldn't even balance on one foot.

Locust is probably my least favorite pose, to be honest. I really feel my extra bulk in this one, and I can kind of float around on my stomach at times, throwing off my hip alignment. But today, I got my elbows really close together and was able to use my arms to push up my legs. I could feel my lower spine curling up. It didn't exactly feel pleasant, but my arms exploded in tingling after I released, so it was really worth it.

Notably, my sit-up is improving and I actually felt the energy you're supposed to feel after performing one. This helped me in head to knee with stretching quite a bit. In the stretching part, I really pushed my elbows towards the floor and got so much closer than I ever have before. Now I need to think a lot more about stretching from the lower spine and getting my head to my feet.

A good day overall! Tomorrow is day 45 - 3/4 done with the challenge. I can definitely say that my mind, body, and spirit have improved drastically since undertaking this challenge and I'm excited to see where I end up at the end of the 60 days!

Days 39-43: Double-dominated

Okay, it's been a while since I've written because I was on the road to Memphis and then too exhausted to even think about sitting at the computer and typing anything up! I'll get to Bikram's lecture in a later post - this one is solely going to be about my practice in the last few days.

So in going to Memphis for the Bikram lecture, my friend Sunny and I had decided to take the 4:30 class (since they only had classes at 9am and 4:30 pm) so we structured our day around that. We went to Graceland (my second time, and it's so much fun!) and ate at a really delicious vegan restaurant (in the land of barbecue, no less). I took a short nap while Sunny dabbled on her iPad and then we headed to class to find the studio locked up tight.

My stomach sunk to my feet as it started to dawn on me that I wasn't going to be able to practice that day. Apparently, the studio had changed their schedule around on account of the lecture later that night and had canceled the 4:30 class in favor of an added noon class. In the past, this would have absolutely wrecked me and made me give up on my challenge, but the new Katie was suddenly and strangely determined to knock out a double as fast as possible and get myself back on track so as to avoid the anxiety that comes along with putting off something you dread.

So, now back in Dallas, I decided to do a back-to-back double mere hours after stepping off the plane. The first class was great! I had one of my favorite instructors who always knows the right thing to say to make my body fall correctly into the posture. I really pushed myself and completed all the postures to the best of my ability with no pauses for sitting or catching my breath. I got a huge cardio workout in this class. I could feel my heart thumping like nuts from half moon all the way to final breathing. It was a really intense and great class.

After savasana, I headed to the lobby for a minute to reset for the second class. I was feeling really weak, which I think was a result of not eating as much as I should have before a back-to-back double. I grabbed a sports drink that had some calories in it and wished I had a few almonds or something to balance out all the sugar - sadly, I didn't. I went back into the room and tried to relax.

The second class was HARD. I didn't have the energy to do the simplest of postures. I felt shaky and weak right from the outset of pranayama breathing. I pushed as far and as hard as I could, but I wound up having to lay in savasana for most of the class. Any time I felt a little bit of energy surface, I stood up and tried to do the posture. Sometimes, I hit the deck right away after surfacing, and sometimes I was able to at least attempt the posture. Suffice it to say, it was definitely not my best class ever.

Interestingly enough, in the class while laying down, I think I might have experienced some kind of trance of sorts. It was almost like I lost time, really. It was a really strange sensation, I suppose it was some sort of meditation or something. It felt a lot like that feeling of being half-awake, half-asleep, but with a slight hum in my body.

Since the double, I've been really low-energy. My class yesterday was alright, marked by some weakness and just overall exhaustion. I have been eating sensibly, lots of protein with a nice carb balance, and I can tell that I'm starting to lose weight for real now (ok, I may have cheated and looked at the scale, whatever). My chest bones are starting to poke out, I'm getting major definition in my legs, and my ass is (incredibly sore &) becoming more firm. There are serious changes happening to my shape. I feel great about these body changes, which are really a result of the incredible changes that are happening in my mind.

Today's class was pretty solid. I only had to back out of standing separate leg stretching, which is an annoying nemesis pose for me now. Stupid hamstring. The pain starts when I lock my knee and any attempt to pull on my heels gives me a warning-warning-warning-STOP pain in my left hammy. I do what I can and if I can't stay in the pose, I come up and stand still with my hands by my side, attempting to breathe normally. That's really about all I can do at this point.

Camel was notable today, because I thought very deeply about relaxing my body and folding in half while pushing my hips towards the mirror. I felt as though I could hold it forever. It was really nice and, as you all know, I live for the feeling of humming and tingling throughout my body after releasing the pose.

Speaking of the humming feeling, I've started to feel it outside of class, too. There is pretty much always a slight humming feeling along my skin if I pause and allow myself to feel it. I don't know what it is - energy? blood flow? both? neither? chickens? - but it feels great and unlike anything I've ever felt before. I think this might be the "glow" people talk about when they suggest that yogis and yoginis have a certain air about them.

My poses are all certainly improving and it's starting to happen kind of quickly. So now that I completed the double class, I'm back on track to finish my 60 classes in 60 days. Here's hoping nothing comes up that forces me into a double again! I'm glad I had to try it, but in the future, I would definitely do a class early in the morning and then later in the afternoon, with some time to eat a big, protein-and-carb meal with lots of nutrient-rich vegetables. At this point, I think that's the smartest way to attack a double in the future.

...let's just hope that doesn't need to happen anytime soon, okay?

Day 39: A real, true breakthrough

Today's class was AWESOME. I had so many breakthroughs I barely know where to begin. Today was one of those motivating classes that makes me so excited to get back in the room and practice again. This past week has been really tough for me and I really believe the results of the struggle of this week was my incredible class today. One of my instructors frequently says, "There is beauty in the struggle because that's where the change happens," and as I wax poetic about this experience, I'm inclined to agree.

So, half moon is getting better all the time. I've figured out how to make my body stretch up out of my waist, which is helping several postures. I can now feel a stretch in my sides from the wrist to the waist, and I just have to keep pushing to feel it down my entire side. Additionally, hands to feet pose went really well. My instructor told me to put my weight more in my toes. Once I did, my face was hovering ridiculously close to my legs. It's coming soon.

In the standing series, I definitely got a good cardio workout. The dizzy feeling I usually get kind of morphed into this buzzing through my whole body. It was rather pleasant. Pushing into the feeling is turning out to always be better than pulling away from it. I worked hard to keep my breath even but still I could feel my heart pounding, especially after standing bow pulling.

I finally had a triangle breakthrough! Again, it was thanks to some awesome direction from my instructor. Sometimes you just need someone to put the concept of the pose into different words for it to suddenly make sense to you. I'm not even entirely sure what she said that made it click for me, but I realized that I needed to push my hips down while pushing my arm and chest towards the ceiling. My heart was pounding like crazy but it felt great.

In tree pose, I think I now understand how I'm supposed to rotate my hip to open up my hip joints. I was able to balance easier and get my hips in alignment. Having properly aligned hips is such a huge deal in my world.

In half-tortoise, I had a MAJOR breakthrough. This isn't even really pose-specific but it was a huge deal for me. As mentioned earlier, I've figured out stretching from my waist in postures with the hands over the head. This really helped in half-tortoise. When I got my pinky fingers to the ground, I pushed my fingers towards the mirror and felt the uncomfortable burning sensation and slightly dizzy feeling that usually freaks me out and makes me pull away. I distinctly recall thinking, "I love this feeling!" and pushing into it instead of pulling away. When I got out of the posture and laid in savasana, my body felt like it was laying in a pool of water instead of on my mat. It felt kind of like the floor had a heartbeat and it was pulsing against my body. Yes, it really was that trippy.

After that, the rest of the class kind of passed by in a buzzing blur. I felt strong and energized. After class, I've been feeling increasingly energized and just plain happy. I feel relaxed in body and mind. I'm so excited to have had this class today.

Oh, and did I mention I'll be hearing Bikram speak tomorrow? BECAUSE I WILL. I'll be sure to talk to you all on Thursday about my experience!

Days 37 & 38: Free Day of Yoga & more!

Today was the DFW Free Day of Yoga and I brought my friend Dalya to practice today. It's nice having some buddies to head to class with and to chat with after class is over. Dalya did really great - I could barely stay on my feet at my first class and she tried almost every posture. I think she might have been bitten by the yoga bug, too! Also, we got free popsicles after class, which clearly made sweating through 90 minutes in a packed class totally worth it.

Today was great because I felt super motivated and had good strength. I was able to do every posture today! That hasn't happened in some time. I keep reminding myself to breathe and struggle through it even if I'm dizzy or off-balance or what have you.

I think I'm figuring out half moon for real. I got a really great stretch in both sides in both sets today. I have to focus more on pressing my hips to one side and think about stretching one side of my body up and over the other while keeping my elbows locked. It felt good for the first time in forever, which was nice. I got a lot of rushing blood through my body in the standing series today, when I normally only get that during the floor series.

However, I'm having problems with standing separate leg stretching. The second I try and grab my feet, I can feel a really weird pulling-and-not-in-a-good-way sensation in my left hamstring/groin? I don't know what it is, but it doesn't feel good and so I'm just working on touching my hands on the floor in front of me and locking my knees solidly. I can go from there, I suppose.

In other, pseudo-related to yoga news, there were no blue stickers left today so I had to stick up my first green sticker. I will cover it with a blue one tomorrow for consistency's sake, don't worry. I know you were nervous.

ALSO: heading to Memphis for Bikram's lecture on Wednesday! I am so excited and brimming with nervous energy. I've been feeling a little meh about my practice as of the past few days and I'm hoping this will revitalize me. I'm the sort of person who needs to constantly seek out inspiration to stay focused, and if seeing the man himself talk about the practice won't motivate me then I don't know what will! I may not have my computer with me for the trip but expect a huge blog post sometime this week dealing with my experience!