Days 2 and 3 were certainly interesting. First of all, my body has definitely missed being in the hot room. Like, a lot. I have noticed a decent amount of loss of strength which in turn seriously affects my balance. The standing series is brutal on me. I've been tanking out energy-wise in the warm-up series, which I haven't experienced really since my first month of class. Overall, I still am feeling heavy. My limbs feel like lead. My concentration, in class and outside class, is shot.
I have had some nice success with toe stand, though. I was able to get my hands to the floor and bend my knee all the way in both sets for the first time yesterday. Once I'm there, I kind of freak out and fall over, but it's definite progress on a posture I've barely improved on at all since the beginning of my practice. I enjoy these baby steps.
I'm still getting slammed with an over-abundance of emotion in class, though. It happened yesterday after my first floor bow, where I kept my knees in more than ever before. After that, it was like the floodgates opened. I couldn't stop crying. It was extremely embarrassing. I kept doing the postures but I was having such a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. Every time I did, I just lost it.
After class, I cried some more, and sat outside in the nice 70 degree weather (I LOVE YOU, TEXAS WINTER) for a while to collect myself. Despite being embarrassing and awkward, I think the emotional release was probably pretty good for me. Many thanks to my instructor Sherry, who gave me words of comfort and a long hug after class despite my yoga sweat.
I keep telling myself, "better out than in," but it's hard to not feel embarrassed or ashamed about losing control of my emotions publicly. It's also very embarrassing for me to talk about it here but this is an honest chronicle of my practice. I'm doing what I can. I just hope tonight's class is a little lighter.
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