Days 5 & 6 of practice were absolutely amazing. I had two of the best classes I've ever had! Day 6 was notably great, as I was able to do at least one set of every posture and was actually able to do both sets of most postures. I did some insanely deep (for me) backbends and I was ablaze with energy after class. It was surreal; I was in the world's best mood and had enough energy to run on all day long. I was so happy to recapture the best benefits from a regular yoga practice relatively quickly.
Day 7, however, was a much different story. I had one of my hardest classes in a long, long time. I had a particularly terrible, knee-buckling bout of the dizzies. I tried to only squat for a few moments and come back up to standing, but I just didn't have the strength. I pushed myself as far as I could go but I didn't feel well in class. Even sitting up was awful, so from camel to the end of class, I just laid in savasana. Around this time, I started to get a very unsettling numb tingling sensation in my face, from my chin up to the bridge of my nose. I tried my best to not freak out about it and keep my breathing regular.
After class, I raced out to the front and explained what was going on with my face. They asked if I had drank enough water during the day, which I really had. I was using the restroom every half hour at work and felt super hydrated. I don't think I ate enough, though, and am a bit iron-deficient at this time. The front desk staff was really great and gave me a freshly-filled water bottle with some electrolyte powder. After drinking it, I felt much better and was able to pack up and head out.
I am glad I know that bad classes happen and to not be discouraged by them. Your body is different every day you go into the yoga room and my worst classes are often followed by great ones. My mindset is strong and I'm hoping for a great practice tonight!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Day 4: Early morning class
Today, Jason and I braved the 7:30 am class so we could still practice together but not have to miss out on Friday night fun. I'd never been to such an early class before and I must say, I kind of loved it. I like getting up and doing yoga first thing. Not only does it mean I don't have any anticipation during the day of having to go to class later, but it also means I get to enjoy the benefits all day long. Done with yoga by 9 am? Yes, please.
Most of my poses were kind of unremarkable. I felt a little unfocused. There was a lot of talking in the room before class started which made it really difficult to just focus on my breath, which in turn I think affected my pranayama breathing. The standing series was a bit shaky for me in places, but I did my best. Sometimes it's really hard to pull yourself together after you get that first wave of dizziness. I just worked on focusing and tried to stand as much as possible. I only went to the ground if I felt like a black-out would happen if I stayed upright.
The best pose of the day for me was definitely bow. I've got my brain wrapped around this one pretty solidly and I'm shocked at my depth. I still need to work on keeping just six inches between my knees and feet. Also, I have to figure out the shoulder rotation a bit better. There's a certain point when my shoulders need to rotate so I can continue pushing up with my legs without hurting my shoulders. Finding that point and relaxing into that while still pushing up is tough, but I like the feeling. I swear, I almost saw my feet over the top of my head today! It's going to be SO exciting when I do. Hopefully by the end of this challenge!
I also felt good in spine twist, which is usually not a great posture for me. I think I've finally got a handle on how to put pressure on my knee with my elbow to get the maximum twist in my spine. I can actually feel the twist now, which must mean I'm doing something right!
All in all, it was a solid class. And now I have the whole day in front of me! I've done my yoga before I'm normally even awake. How about that!
Most of my poses were kind of unremarkable. I felt a little unfocused. There was a lot of talking in the room before class started which made it really difficult to just focus on my breath, which in turn I think affected my pranayama breathing. The standing series was a bit shaky for me in places, but I did my best. Sometimes it's really hard to pull yourself together after you get that first wave of dizziness. I just worked on focusing and tried to stand as much as possible. I only went to the ground if I felt like a black-out would happen if I stayed upright.
The best pose of the day for me was definitely bow. I've got my brain wrapped around this one pretty solidly and I'm shocked at my depth. I still need to work on keeping just six inches between my knees and feet. Also, I have to figure out the shoulder rotation a bit better. There's a certain point when my shoulders need to rotate so I can continue pushing up with my legs without hurting my shoulders. Finding that point and relaxing into that while still pushing up is tough, but I like the feeling. I swear, I almost saw my feet over the top of my head today! It's going to be SO exciting when I do. Hopefully by the end of this challenge!
I also felt good in spine twist, which is usually not a great posture for me. I think I've finally got a handle on how to put pressure on my knee with my elbow to get the maximum twist in my spine. I can actually feel the twist now, which must mean I'm doing something right!
All in all, it was a solid class. And now I have the whole day in front of me! I've done my yoga before I'm normally even awake. How about that!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Day 3: Back in the swing!
Ahhh, what a GREAT class I had today! For the first time in quite a while, I was able to make it through the standing series without sitting down. I had to take a couple pauses but they really were pauses and not full stops. I reconnected with my breath and pushed forward. And, let me tell you, I have been rewarded!
I feel so calm and at peace right now. My body is relaxed and free of tension and pain. My muscles are tired and a touch sore but I feel in control of them. I have a gentle skin humming which I think might outwardly translate as a touch of glow. I feel like I could either go run a marathon or fall into deep sleep. I haven't felt this good since... well, since I was regularly practicing over the summer.
I'm feeling the stretch all the way into my hip in half moon now. It's crazy how such a small adjustment can make all the difference in the world. I guess that's why this yoga remains challenging even after many years of practice. Awkward pose has gotten difficult for me and I struggle notably in the second part where you rise onto your toes. I always want to turn my hips out to get my balance. It's incredibly hard for me to stand on my toes with my feet in that alignment, so I just work on the very first part as hard as I can.
The standing series was full of rewards for me today! Standing bow is really becoming one of my favorite postures. I even got a compliment from the teacher after class about it today! Once I realized I was pushing my energy in the wrong direction, it just totally rocket-launched my leg up towards the sky. Come to find out, it makes balancing so much easier!
The floor series was great! I love this part of class so much. I am starting to understand why Bikram says the floor series is "where the real yoga begins." My spine's flexibility has increased a lot and that means I can get deeper into a lot of the postures. I really love bow pose. Additionally, camel was fantastic today. I pushed my knees into the ground and worked on opening my chest up to the sky. I came out of the second set with a huge smile on my face. It was so fantastic!
All in all, today was a great class and I got to share it with Jason, which made it even better. He had a great one too! He said it was possibly his best ever. Thumbs way up all around. I love these challenges!
I think the best part about regular practice is that it straightens up my food issues fast and definitively. After class, the thought of "bad" food is just kind of gross to me. I want vegetables and fruit and protein and small portions. It's honestly worth the effort of a daily practice just to be in control of my food choices. When you add in all the other benefits, it becomes even greater. Ahhh. Now, time for a salad!
I feel so calm and at peace right now. My body is relaxed and free of tension and pain. My muscles are tired and a touch sore but I feel in control of them. I have a gentle skin humming which I think might outwardly translate as a touch of glow. I feel like I could either go run a marathon or fall into deep sleep. I haven't felt this good since... well, since I was regularly practicing over the summer.
I'm feeling the stretch all the way into my hip in half moon now. It's crazy how such a small adjustment can make all the difference in the world. I guess that's why this yoga remains challenging even after many years of practice. Awkward pose has gotten difficult for me and I struggle notably in the second part where you rise onto your toes. I always want to turn my hips out to get my balance. It's incredibly hard for me to stand on my toes with my feet in that alignment, so I just work on the very first part as hard as I can.
The standing series was full of rewards for me today! Standing bow is really becoming one of my favorite postures. I even got a compliment from the teacher after class about it today! Once I realized I was pushing my energy in the wrong direction, it just totally rocket-launched my leg up towards the sky. Come to find out, it makes balancing so much easier!
The floor series was great! I love this part of class so much. I am starting to understand why Bikram says the floor series is "where the real yoga begins." My spine's flexibility has increased a lot and that means I can get deeper into a lot of the postures. I really love bow pose. Additionally, camel was fantastic today. I pushed my knees into the ground and worked on opening my chest up to the sky. I came out of the second set with a huge smile on my face. It was so fantastic!
All in all, today was a great class and I got to share it with Jason, which made it even better. He had a great one too! He said it was possibly his best ever. Thumbs way up all around. I love these challenges!
I think the best part about regular practice is that it straightens up my food issues fast and definitively. After class, the thought of "bad" food is just kind of gross to me. I want vegetables and fruit and protein and small portions. It's honestly worth the effort of a daily practice just to be in control of my food choices. When you add in all the other benefits, it becomes even greater. Ahhh. Now, time for a salad!
Day 2
Day 2 of my challenge was another step in the right direction. Jason wanted to practice yesterday, so I waited til he was out of work and we hit up the 8:15 pm class. This class is usually pretty empty and yesterday was no exception. I sometimes love a smaller class, usually if it means the instructor gives a lot of personal corrections. Other times, I wish I had the bigger class to feed off the group energy. Either way, I know my class is dictated by my attitude and will and none of these details I sometimes obsess over.
The beginning of class was great for me again. I focused on locking my elbows a lot. I pulled harder and stretched further in hands to feet than I have in a long time. The stretch felt so good. The problem is, when I really push myself in the warmup, I'm pretty much hosed for the rest of the standing series. I know I have to just keep pushing myself in the beginning and my stamina will increase. I'll be able to struggle a little more with each attempt.
So, my standing series was lackluster at best. However, I had a good separate leg stretching with ZERO pain in either hamstring! And by zero pain, I mean zero bad pain. There was plenty of good stretching muscle pain. Savasana was really, really awesome after struggling through the first part of class.
The floor series has REALLY begun to open up to me. I love the spine strengthening series so much! I have strengthened my glutes and back enough that I've improved my depth in the last part of locust. I can actually feel muscles working that I've never used before. It's weird to explain, but I've never been a muscular person so to get to the point where I normally hit a wall and then have another muscle kick in to take over is really a bizarre and fantastic sensation.
Bow pose is getting really great! I love feeling the compression in different parts of my spine. I've wrapped my head around pushing my legs up instead of out and back, which has changed my approach to both standing and floor bow.
So, today, I'm exhausted and unfocused. I am going to rest a bit before class tonight (Jason and I are doing the 8:15 again) and hope that sleep and a decent meal will give me some energy. I know I'm tired because I'm exerting myself as much as I can in class and that if I keep it up, I will eventually get back to having energy instead of being drained. Just have to get over the hump. It's coming and I just have to work for it.
...and then, I'll think twice before letting my practice slip away again. ;D
The beginning of class was great for me again. I focused on locking my elbows a lot. I pulled harder and stretched further in hands to feet than I have in a long time. The stretch felt so good. The problem is, when I really push myself in the warmup, I'm pretty much hosed for the rest of the standing series. I know I have to just keep pushing myself in the beginning and my stamina will increase. I'll be able to struggle a little more with each attempt.
So, my standing series was lackluster at best. However, I had a good separate leg stretching with ZERO pain in either hamstring! And by zero pain, I mean zero bad pain. There was plenty of good stretching muscle pain. Savasana was really, really awesome after struggling through the first part of class.
The floor series has REALLY begun to open up to me. I love the spine strengthening series so much! I have strengthened my glutes and back enough that I've improved my depth in the last part of locust. I can actually feel muscles working that I've never used before. It's weird to explain, but I've never been a muscular person so to get to the point where I normally hit a wall and then have another muscle kick in to take over is really a bizarre and fantastic sensation.
Bow pose is getting really great! I love feeling the compression in different parts of my spine. I've wrapped my head around pushing my legs up instead of out and back, which has changed my approach to both standing and floor bow.
So, today, I'm exhausted and unfocused. I am going to rest a bit before class tonight (Jason and I are doing the 8:15 again) and hope that sleep and a decent meal will give me some energy. I know I'm tired because I'm exerting myself as much as I can in class and that if I keep it up, I will eventually get back to having energy instead of being drained. Just have to get over the hump. It's coming and I just have to work for it.
...and then, I'll think twice before letting my practice slip away again. ;D
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
A new challenge! Day 1
Hello, all! I am back to a dedicated daily practice and I couldn't be happier about it. After my first challenge ended, I felt a pretty big letdown and had to switch my focus from yoga to work in preparation of a two-week vacation to visit my family in Boston. I didn't practice very much in October, admittedly. However, I did manage to get Jason into the hot room! Even more shocking, I got my mom to go with us!
That was a huge moment for me, truly. My mom and I both got into health-related changes at the same time and she's ironically lost pretty much the same exact amount of weight as I have so far. Taking a yoga class was way outside her comfort zone, and I was so unbearably proud of her for going. Since we left town, she's continued going to class! I can't wait for her to get over the initial hump and really feel the benefits. It's also done really great things for our relationship. My mom and I never really called each other before except if it was really important. We email a lot, but calling was reserved mostly for holidays and bad news. Now, we call each other to talk about class, which I love!
Jason did a fantastic job, too. He's already in pretty good shape so he could do a lot of the postures well right off the bat. In nearly every class I've taken with him, the instructor has called him out for having a great rabbit pose! It's really fun to go to class with him, because I get that outlet of talking to someone about class who really understands what it's like to be in the room. Also, it makes me happy to know that we're both doing something healthy. Jason and I are incredibly close (obviously, since we've been together for over three years and lived together for two and a half) and I feel like practicing together brings us even that much closer.
So, since getting back from vacation I've been in crazy prep mode for a craft fair I vended at this past weekend. I only took a couple classes last week and decided that I wanted to really re-dedicate myself to my practice today. I figured there was no better way to advance my practice than to do another 60-day challenge. So, here we are!
Today's class was probably the best one I've ever had. The teacher was one I've never had before and she was excellent. She was constantly reminding us about proper alignment and gave a bunch of awesome "lift the chest!" instructions that completely changed a lot of the postures for me. I felt like today was one of those breakthrough classes where tons of change is happening. The warm-up part of class was notably better. The instructor kept telling us to lock our elbows and lift our chests, which made half moon fantastic for me today.
I pushed myself really, really hard. This meant that I got dizzy quite a bit, but I got up as soon as I possibly could to try again. I was rewarded with a lot of gifts in class as a result. The sensation I get from a lot of the postures has morphed from tingling to a warm glow. It is a weird sensation to try to describe but it is actually kind of spiritual.
Another posture I had great success in today was the stretching part of head to knee. the instructor told us to keep our spine straight and pull forward while pushing the shoulders back. I felt the stretch like never before! In spine twist, I felt the twist go all the way up into the top of my neck! I exhaled harder than ever in kapalabhati breathing and my abs are rather sore now but in that great "I exerted muscles that get little action" kind of way. In fact, my whole body feels like that today. I have grown to like the feeling of sore muscles. That's something I never thought I'd say!
Part of the inspiration behind this new challenge is to make yoga a daily part of my life in an attempt to pursue a career as a teacher. I know that I'm not anywhere near ready to teach this practice but I also know that I will be someday if I push myself and work as hard as possible to get there. I spoke with my friend Liz, who is a Bikram teacher, and she suggested to take my time and practice often. Sound advice indeed. I am pursuing this goal but allowing myself to wait for the exact right time to present itself. And it will. I have faith. :)
That was a huge moment for me, truly. My mom and I both got into health-related changes at the same time and she's ironically lost pretty much the same exact amount of weight as I have so far. Taking a yoga class was way outside her comfort zone, and I was so unbearably proud of her for going. Since we left town, she's continued going to class! I can't wait for her to get over the initial hump and really feel the benefits. It's also done really great things for our relationship. My mom and I never really called each other before except if it was really important. We email a lot, but calling was reserved mostly for holidays and bad news. Now, we call each other to talk about class, which I love!
Jason did a fantastic job, too. He's already in pretty good shape so he could do a lot of the postures well right off the bat. In nearly every class I've taken with him, the instructor has called him out for having a great rabbit pose! It's really fun to go to class with him, because I get that outlet of talking to someone about class who really understands what it's like to be in the room. Also, it makes me happy to know that we're both doing something healthy. Jason and I are incredibly close (obviously, since we've been together for over three years and lived together for two and a half) and I feel like practicing together brings us even that much closer.
So, since getting back from vacation I've been in crazy prep mode for a craft fair I vended at this past weekend. I only took a couple classes last week and decided that I wanted to really re-dedicate myself to my practice today. I figured there was no better way to advance my practice than to do another 60-day challenge. So, here we are!
Today's class was probably the best one I've ever had. The teacher was one I've never had before and she was excellent. She was constantly reminding us about proper alignment and gave a bunch of awesome "lift the chest!" instructions that completely changed a lot of the postures for me. I felt like today was one of those breakthrough classes where tons of change is happening. The warm-up part of class was notably better. The instructor kept telling us to lock our elbows and lift our chests, which made half moon fantastic for me today.
I pushed myself really, really hard. This meant that I got dizzy quite a bit, but I got up as soon as I possibly could to try again. I was rewarded with a lot of gifts in class as a result. The sensation I get from a lot of the postures has morphed from tingling to a warm glow. It is a weird sensation to try to describe but it is actually kind of spiritual.
Another posture I had great success in today was the stretching part of head to knee. the instructor told us to keep our spine straight and pull forward while pushing the shoulders back. I felt the stretch like never before! In spine twist, I felt the twist go all the way up into the top of my neck! I exhaled harder than ever in kapalabhati breathing and my abs are rather sore now but in that great "I exerted muscles that get little action" kind of way. In fact, my whole body feels like that today. I have grown to like the feeling of sore muscles. That's something I never thought I'd say!
Part of the inspiration behind this new challenge is to make yoga a daily part of my life in an attempt to pursue a career as a teacher. I know that I'm not anywhere near ready to teach this practice but I also know that I will be someday if I push myself and work as hard as possible to get there. I spoke with my friend Liz, who is a Bikram teacher, and she suggested to take my time and practice often. Sound advice indeed. I am pursuing this goal but allowing myself to wait for the exact right time to present itself. And it will. I have faith. :)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The struggle
I got back into the hot room today, as promised. It had only been 4 days since my last class, but it felt like forever. I was surprised at how good I felt in class. I didn't feel particularly strong, but I was able to push in new ways I've never been able to. My balance in half moon was so solid that I could get really deep into the posture and feel the stretch, which I normally don't.
The rest of my balance was pretty poor, however, especially in standing bow pulling pose. I keep pitching to the side in that pose, which I think has to do with (surprise, surprise) my hips being out of alignment. I worked on pushing my hips and abdomen flat today. It was a struggle, but struggle is good.
I have been getting that stupid hamstring pain in my left leg again in standing separate leg stretching. I talked to my instructor about it today after class and she suggested keeping my feet closer together to begin, pushing my weight into my toes, and getting my hands under my heels. I will try this tomorrow and see how it goes. It would be nice to actually be able to hold this pose instead of having to huff and puff out of it cause my hamstring is on fire.
Bow was pretty hard for me today, too. My spine felt really inflexible, which is probably due to not exercising it for a while. I also did a decent amount of running in my break from yoga, which I've really felt in my body. My biggest problem in that pose is keeping my weight balanced and my knees six inches apart. I also push the two sides up differently somehow, because one leg is always higher or closer in than the other.
Camel was magnificent. It was so cleansing to feel my beloved spine tingles again. It really is worth the entire class to get that feeling. The floor series is totally the best part of class for me. The standing series always knocks me around a lot. It's much more difficult for me, since a lot of balance is required and I'm not quite there yet. I feel like I get a lot more immediate physical benefit from the floor series, because I can feel the blood rushing through my body more.
Really, the most important thing about class today is that I got there and I completed it. I'm back, and it feels good. I'm taking class again tomorrow afternoon, in the name of staying dedicated to my practice.
The rest of my balance was pretty poor, however, especially in standing bow pulling pose. I keep pitching to the side in that pose, which I think has to do with (surprise, surprise) my hips being out of alignment. I worked on pushing my hips and abdomen flat today. It was a struggle, but struggle is good.
I have been getting that stupid hamstring pain in my left leg again in standing separate leg stretching. I talked to my instructor about it today after class and she suggested keeping my feet closer together to begin, pushing my weight into my toes, and getting my hands under my heels. I will try this tomorrow and see how it goes. It would be nice to actually be able to hold this pose instead of having to huff and puff out of it cause my hamstring is on fire.
Bow was pretty hard for me today, too. My spine felt really inflexible, which is probably due to not exercising it for a while. I also did a decent amount of running in my break from yoga, which I've really felt in my body. My biggest problem in that pose is keeping my weight balanced and my knees six inches apart. I also push the two sides up differently somehow, because one leg is always higher or closer in than the other.
Camel was magnificent. It was so cleansing to feel my beloved spine tingles again. It really is worth the entire class to get that feeling. The floor series is totally the best part of class for me. The standing series always knocks me around a lot. It's much more difficult for me, since a lot of balance is required and I'm not quite there yet. I feel like I get a lot more immediate physical benefit from the floor series, because I can feel the blood rushing through my body more.
Really, the most important thing about class today is that I got there and I completed it. I'm back, and it feels good. I'm taking class again tomorrow afternoon, in the name of staying dedicated to my practice.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Day 60: OK OK I KNOW, this took forever to write
So day 60 has come and gone, but I never wrote about it! Shame on me. I didn't skip the 60th day, in case you were wondering. Here is photo proof:
Day 60 was a tough one. I again took class with Joseph Encinia, and it was pretty much as hard as the one before. I recall feeling pretty out of sorts and maybe a little burned out. It was a pretty crazy mix of emotions when I finished. I may or may not have cried a little bit during final savasana. I got a t-shirt from the studio as a reward for finishing the challenge. It says: "I survived the Bikram Yoga challenge... and I got a new body, new mind, and new life." Best thing about said shirt? It's a size medium. I have never worn a size medium in my recollection. It's pretty close to my body, but it's definitely wearable. Success!
In other size-related news, I checked my scale and I lost around 12 pounds during the challenge. I didn't count calories at all. I found myself wanting to cook good food and eat small portions. It was as if suddenly, my food issues were gone. Gross foods I used to love suddenly were revolting to me.
In still more size-related news, I went clothes shopping (this one's for you, Jen) and was completely unsure of what size I wore so I had to try on a range of sizes to see where I was. It was actually kind of fun and I was astonished to find myself in the lowest size I've worn in my adult life. I dropped 2 sizes over the course of the 2-month challenge, and am now down a whopping 8 sizes since last Christmas. Additionally, I'm 3 band sizes smaller in my bra. Not much change in the cup yet. Sigh.
Since I was on a budget, I had to shop sensibly, but I got a faux leather jacket in hunter green, an awesome grey knit wrap that Jason says makes me look like a theater professor, a couple striped shirts (a go-to in my closet), a pair of fern green cargo pants, a pair of dark wash jeans, a sensible pair of black slacks (which I wore to my homeowner's association meeting last week), and a couple other smaller things. This was my reward to myself for completing the challenge! Jason took me to Spiral Diner as his reward, which was equally as awesome.
So what have I been up to since completing my challenge? A lot, but not a lot of yoga, unfortunately. I was on a big high during the last 15 days of the challenge and after it was over, I had an equally large crash. I felt like I didn't have a solid goal anymore and my attitude started nose-diving. I allowed myself to fall victim to excuses: "I have too much to do today to go to yoga," "it would be easier if I didn't have to drive out to Mockingbird," "I've got to get ready for my upcoming trip, it's okay to let yoga go on the back burner til I'm back." I took a day off, which melted into two. I took a weekend off, which melted into four days off. My food issues started creeping back and I started getting anxiety again. Last night hit and I decided it was time to cut the crap and be real with myself.
I think as we strive to achieve goals, there will always be plateaus. There will come a week where you just say yes to the short-term pleasures (i.e., being lazy on the couch) and say no to hard work. You'll eat more than you should at a meal, or get to class but don't push yourself as hard as you should. These things are almost certain to happen at some point and it's not inherently bad. It's how you push through these things and allow them to be the exception, not the habit, that determines your success. I'm human. I have bad weeks. But something Kasper said in the discussion a couple months ago (paraphrasing, yo) has come to me very recently that has made me re-commit to my practice: "When I do yoga, life is good. When I don't, it isn't. So I do yoga."
I'm going back tomorrow and I'm going every day until we leave for vacation on Saturday (2 weeks in Boston with my family AND I'm becoming an aunt - YAY!!!). On vacation, I am firmly holding myself to my original plan of practicing 3-4 times a week. If I need to get up early to fit it all in, I will do that. One of the things I like best about this practice is being a good role model, so to speak, for my parents. My mom was inspired by my hard work and has gone on her own weight loss journey, which I'm so incredibly proud of her for! I can't go home and allow a bad attitude to thwart their goals. I need to show them that we can all do it - get healthy, stay healthy, and be happy. I'm even going to work on my folks to come to yoga with me, which is going to be a huge struggle I'm not sure will end up bearing any fruit, but that I feel I should definitely try anyway.
I have felt such a negative change in my mood and body since taking a little breather on yoga, and it's been the kick I've needed to go back and recapture the goodness. Thankfully, it didn't take me all that long to figure this out, so I don't anticipate having that hard of a time falling back into it, though I do think tomorrow's class is going to be a doozy. I'll let you know how it goes!
Day 60 was a tough one. I again took class with Joseph Encinia, and it was pretty much as hard as the one before. I recall feeling pretty out of sorts and maybe a little burned out. It was a pretty crazy mix of emotions when I finished. I may or may not have cried a little bit during final savasana. I got a t-shirt from the studio as a reward for finishing the challenge. It says: "I survived the Bikram Yoga challenge... and I got a new body, new mind, and new life." Best thing about said shirt? It's a size medium. I have never worn a size medium in my recollection. It's pretty close to my body, but it's definitely wearable. Success!
In other size-related news, I checked my scale and I lost around 12 pounds during the challenge. I didn't count calories at all. I found myself wanting to cook good food and eat small portions. It was as if suddenly, my food issues were gone. Gross foods I used to love suddenly were revolting to me.
In still more size-related news, I went clothes shopping (this one's for you, Jen) and was completely unsure of what size I wore so I had to try on a range of sizes to see where I was. It was actually kind of fun and I was astonished to find myself in the lowest size I've worn in my adult life. I dropped 2 sizes over the course of the 2-month challenge, and am now down a whopping 8 sizes since last Christmas. Additionally, I'm 3 band sizes smaller in my bra. Not much change in the cup yet. Sigh.
Since I was on a budget, I had to shop sensibly, but I got a faux leather jacket in hunter green, an awesome grey knit wrap that Jason says makes me look like a theater professor, a couple striped shirts (a go-to in my closet), a pair of fern green cargo pants, a pair of dark wash jeans, a sensible pair of black slacks (which I wore to my homeowner's association meeting last week), and a couple other smaller things. This was my reward to myself for completing the challenge! Jason took me to Spiral Diner as his reward, which was equally as awesome.
So what have I been up to since completing my challenge? A lot, but not a lot of yoga, unfortunately. I was on a big high during the last 15 days of the challenge and after it was over, I had an equally large crash. I felt like I didn't have a solid goal anymore and my attitude started nose-diving. I allowed myself to fall victim to excuses: "I have too much to do today to go to yoga," "it would be easier if I didn't have to drive out to Mockingbird," "I've got to get ready for my upcoming trip, it's okay to let yoga go on the back burner til I'm back." I took a day off, which melted into two. I took a weekend off, which melted into four days off. My food issues started creeping back and I started getting anxiety again. Last night hit and I decided it was time to cut the crap and be real with myself.
I think as we strive to achieve goals, there will always be plateaus. There will come a week where you just say yes to the short-term pleasures (i.e., being lazy on the couch) and say no to hard work. You'll eat more than you should at a meal, or get to class but don't push yourself as hard as you should. These things are almost certain to happen at some point and it's not inherently bad. It's how you push through these things and allow them to be the exception, not the habit, that determines your success. I'm human. I have bad weeks. But something Kasper said in the discussion a couple months ago (paraphrasing, yo) has come to me very recently that has made me re-commit to my practice: "When I do yoga, life is good. When I don't, it isn't. So I do yoga."
I'm going back tomorrow and I'm going every day until we leave for vacation on Saturday (2 weeks in Boston with my family AND I'm becoming an aunt - YAY!!!). On vacation, I am firmly holding myself to my original plan of practicing 3-4 times a week. If I need to get up early to fit it all in, I will do that. One of the things I like best about this practice is being a good role model, so to speak, for my parents. My mom was inspired by my hard work and has gone on her own weight loss journey, which I'm so incredibly proud of her for! I can't go home and allow a bad attitude to thwart their goals. I need to show them that we can all do it - get healthy, stay healthy, and be happy. I'm even going to work on my folks to come to yoga with me, which is going to be a huge struggle I'm not sure will end up bearing any fruit, but that I feel I should definitely try anyway.
I have felt such a negative change in my mood and body since taking a little breather on yoga, and it's been the kick I've needed to go back and recapture the goodness. Thankfully, it didn't take me all that long to figure this out, so I don't anticipate having that hard of a time falling back into it, though I do think tomorrow's class is going to be a doozy. I'll let you know how it goes!
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